Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Memories. Show all posts

Friday, July 31, 2009

That day in the showers

I've wanted to write about this, but I keep on changing my mind lol cos it doesn't feel like such a good thing, to write about oneself in the showers ^^; but I figured that it'd be fine, cos it's not like "oh, I showered, & I put this kinda shampoo, & that kinda soap, & I'm all clean & fuzzy now!" T___T

no, it's more like what happened at that time o_O;;

hahaha anyway, it'll be short, I promise ;-)

you see, the thing about Malaysia is that its season never changes ;-( which means that it's hot & humid all year around, & depending where you live, it either rains a lot, or rains less, it rains a lot at most places (as in, it has its rainy seasons).

so the thing about rainy weather is you tend to get a lot of insects & other creatures breeding because of the weather & the water

do you see where I'm heading? ;-P

well, for the bathroom in my house, although I've gotten sorta used to the insects that are in the bathtub, but thinking about it, it's just weird & I seriously wonder where they come from & why did they only appear later on in my life (it's not like the appeared since we bought the house, it was quite a number of years after that). But there could be lots of reasons for that.

Anyway, that's not the point, but all I'll say is, for some reason, occasionally there are cockroaches (which I'm scared of & I hate), & centipedes (HUGE ones, I'm not kidding >_>). The centipedes are the weird insects rather than cockroaches (cos cockroaches seem to be everywhere, not only the bathroom), & seriously, I get freaked out everytime I see one because it's like a surprise attack on me (I wear glasses, but obviously not when I bathe, so I'm pretty blind without them, so how am I supposed to see the bloody centipedes?!?!?!? not until they're too close for my liking T_T)

I still haven't wrote about that day wth?? Sorry, so what happened is that on that day, it was a bit weird, but not as bad as cockroaches & centipedes at least, so it was juz very irritating & annoying instead.

I was attacked by mosquitoes lol

Ok, that's not what happened exactly, but there were a LOT of mosquitoes in the bathroom that day. I have no idea why. The only possible reason that I thought of was that it may have been because of the rainy weather (still just an excuse tho).

So I spent a longer time in the bathroom that day, mainly killing mosquitoes & hardly focusing on bathing. I think I killed more than 20 that day lol seriously, I'm not kidding. The easiest way to kill mosquitoes is to wait for those stupid insects to hover/fly at a certain distance from the wall before you hit them XD

It was fun but tiring hahahaha hope this didn't freak/creep anyone out ;-P

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Paranoia

My classes started this week ;-(

The 1st week is always easier, & yet harder at the same time for me. Easier because the pace of the lessons is still compared to the future lessons, & harder because my brain is a bit sluggish after the holidays, & still not geared in study mode yet ^^;

I normally go to college around 7.20am because my classes start at 8. So I'd wake up much earlier because I don't like being sleepy in class, & I can be properly awake before I go to college. So I'd wake up around 6 something. That's how much time I take to wake up lol

Yesterday, I woke up in a very blurred state. Which is actually normal for me, & I was still half-asleep in my dream. & I kept tossing & turning in a very sleepy way, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, I must get up soon or else I'd oversleep (my normal thought process to get out of bed).

I managed to stumble out of bed (also normal) & headed to the toilet. On my way, I suddenly realised how dark it was around the house. To be more specific, I took notice of the fact that there was no light downstairs. This may not be of significance to other people, but to me it was, even in my sleepy state.

You see, at 6 something, my mum would have already left for work, & the light would be on downstairs. So, although it could be that my mum wasn't working, or that she forgot to switch on the light, but I had a nasty suspicion that it's not even 6 something (all this I was thinking through very slowly in my head. If you were there, you'd probably see my brain slowly moving)

So I looked at my handphone. & it was 2am =__= & I went to bed at 11 something, so it's funny that I actually thought I slept enough for the night

So I went back to sleep haha

The thing is, this wasn't the first time I experienced this. In my school days, I experienced it once too, & after that, I'd always check the time after I woke up before I actually got out of bed (I still do), but of course, we're all human, so at times I forget.

But I realised I was strange in this aspect, because I tend to wake up earlier before the alarm rings after a while of waking up at the same time every day. Like my dad actually. He wakes up around the same time every morning too. So I still think it's partly caused by my genes.

The other part is that I can't seem to stand being waken up, so much that I wake up before the time I'm supposed to wake up. At first, it was my dad waking me up, & I thought it was because of that, but when I started using an alarm clock (& now, my handphone alarm), I realised that it was the same thing, & I do sorta hate the alarm clock waking me up. But I don't mind my handphone alarm so much (cos I can play a nice song to wake me up). So I came to the conclusion that I just can't stand being woken up so much that I wake up earlier myself, voluntarily (in a way).

& occasionally for me, I wake up a few times in one night, thinking it's time to wake up, & realising that it's still too early. I think it's because I'm somehow paranoid that I'd oversleep, although I actually only overslept once in my entire life, & that was in Form 3, & my dad overslept too, so that's why he didn't wake me up. Talk about coincidences.

That's all I wanted to say. Feels kinda abrupt, but I'm not good at ending what I say, & probably that's also why I keep going on & on sometimes lol

Thursday, June 25, 2009

The importance of cars. & its players ;-P

This time I guarantee it'll be short lol. & why is that? Because it's about me, & I don't like going into lengthy details about myself (& there's not much to say about myself too ^^;). Just the summary (hopefully) is enough.

I seem to remember mentioning in my earlier posts that I'm able to drive now. Did I mention that I love it? ^__^ Well, maybe not love, but I do generally like driving (I feel a sense of deja vu, so I think I mentioned it, unless it wasn't in my blog somehow haha).

So, due to certain circumstances, I'm now able to have my own car. Yay! XD Before that, I was sharing my car with my brother, which I was fine with too, since I could use the car whenever I wanted & my brother didn't mind. He's so nice (most of the time, or at least, in certain aspects like this) ;-)

I'm lazy to explain the circumstances itself, but what happened was my dad gave me the choice to choose which car I wanted (the existing cars). But it was actually me choosing to use either my brother's car or my father's car. If I chose my brother's car, my brother will be using my father's car, & vice versa. So guess which I picked? XP





...





...




I picked my dad's car! Heh XD Did you guess right? ;-P

I had my reasons for choosing it, of course. To be honest, I'm more comfortable (& more careless ^^;) with my brother's car. The obvious difference between the both of them is their size. Let me just make it easier to understand by saying what cars they were. My dad's car is a Toyota Camry. My bro's car is a Hyundai Accent.



Camry



Hyundai


If the difference in size is not obvious, then all I can say is that the Camry is a bit wider, the Hyundai is like a normal long car to me (not that long, but average, not short, at least). The width matters more, I think, & I get nervous occasionally cos I feel like I'll scrape the side (& my dad admitted that he scraped the side a few times too, so he was warning me to be careful).

The main reason why I chose the Camry is because:

Camry has an mp3 CD player!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hyundai has an audio CD player ;-( So before this, when I was sharing the car with my brother, I begged my dad to let me buy a mp3 FM modulator (which satisfied me, because at least I can listen to my fav mp3), but I prefer an mp3 CD player. That's all. Actually, that's the only reason why I was so determined to use the Camry, no matter what. I believe that a person could get used to driving the car, so it's only a matter of time.

When I think about it, I feel that I'm quite different from most people. You can even call me weird lol but it just shows what my priorities are, in a way. But it's also always been a dream of mine ever since I started burning mp3 CDs, to play my own songs in my own car, & nobody commenting on how lousy the songs are.

I sorta have another reason for choosing the Camry, but it's a secret ;-P & it's a very small reason, hardly affecting my decision, so it shouldn't be counted anyway ;-D & now I've tired myself out from writing 2 blog posts in a day, so I'll stop now.

I'm not feeling very happy atm, & I was wondering y, & I think it's because I'm doing what I felt I should do (which I really should do), not exactly what I want to do, so I'm kinda stuck at a trivial problem. But no matter, hopefully I manage to finish faster the stuff that I should do first ^^;

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Drinking Experience

lol you know what? I forgot all about my blog after that one week’s rest ^^;


Before I start with the topic of my post, I juz wanted to talk about what’s going on recently in the world to show that I’m not unaware of what’s going on. Of course, the main event is Olympics!


Some ppl aren’t interested at all in it because they’re not interested in sports. Some ppl may be surprised to know that I like sports, a lot, & I quite like watching it too, but normally don’t bother to because of constraint of time. The kind of sports in Olympics that I love watching (but obviously I can’t do) are the gymnastics, but I also liked to watch those snow sports, even though I didn’t get to much, but maybe it’s because it looks nice, & I can’t help feeling that the only reason why I can’t do those is because I’m living in a country which will never snow T_T but oh well, life is like that.


Unfortunately, I don’t have the channel to watch the Olympics event either, on Astro, although the local channel does show it, but there have been complaints about that local channel regarding the Olympics, so I didn’t bother trying to see the events on that particular channel. I might as well wait for the next Olympics lol.


anyway, back to the main topic. This will be a relatively short post compared to the other posts that I have been doing ^^; I just wanted to share the experience I felt, so I thought that I might as well blog about it ;-)


Technically, it wasn’t my 1st time. But I think it was the first time I drank so much in the same hour, & legally, it was my 1st time ^___^ I drank it in TGIFs at lunch (not a big deal, but just mentioning it). You see, it’s just that after that I still had classes, so it was quite amusing wondering whether ppl could tell that I was drunk (although I didn’t feel drunk, but I certainly felt something, & it could be considered a bit drunk).


It was funny, because after we ordered our meal (I was with someone at that time), including the drink, the waitress came back, saying that she needed to see our IC, & we were like, wth, but we showed her anyway, although mine is a Photostatted version because I wouldn’t dare to bring out my IC with me unless I really needed to, & probably she didn’t expect us to be old enough, cos she looked surprised, but she said OK & she confessed that she’s actually younger than us, which surprised me because I didn’t think so, but I’ve never been able to really tell the age of a person anyway.


Anyway, I don’t really remember what I ordered already, but I think it was called the 77 Sunset Strip, & it’s a mixture of gin, rum & vodka. At least, that’s what I think, but I only remember it having gin & vodka (& I know vodka is strong, so I thought I’d rather drink strong alcohol than weak alcohol lol). & I guessed that it was rum because the drink wasn’t bitter like when I normally drink alcohol last time, & it tasted a little bit like rum, but I could hardly taste it, & I still don’t know what gin & vodka taste like by themselves, but plenty of time & opportunity for that ;-P


You could say I drank it in one go, but I didn’t think of it that way. Because for one thing, I was drinking through a straw. When you drink through a straw, you can’t drink so much in one go, it gets quite limited ^^; but you could say I drank through the straw continuously without stopping until the glass was empty. But it wasn’t a very big glass, but not a small glass either, so it was quite ok. I’d say around 200-300 ml if my assumptions can be considered close to accurate ^^;


The effects wasn’t really immediate, but it took me a while to realise that what I was experiencing was because of alcohol ^^; my 1st thought was that I felt dizzy, but then when I was trying to analyse my feelings & experience, it wasn’t exactly dizziness or nausea. It’s more like, my head felt really full, & a little bit heavy, & it was a bit hard for me to focus on what the other person was saying, but I’d concentrate on keeping my eyes focused on the person’s face lol ;-P I think I also felt a bit sleepy at the same time, but I really did feel a bit like wanting to roll my eyes to the back of my head, or at least something similar to that effect. It might’ve been considered as headache too, since headache is quite general, but it didn’t feel like the normal headaches that I have had. But whatever I experienced, it definitely wasn’t a high feeling, nor was it a happy feeling. Basically, just a foggy feeling in my mind, but I still could think & was still quite of sound mind haha ;-D I guess I wasn’t that drunk, but I can’t imagine being that drunk, although it should be possible, obviously. & I thought that it would be amusing if I still felt this way when I went for class, which was at least 2-3 hours later, but that feeling went away after one hour, gradually.


So yeah, that’s about it. Not sure when I’ll blog again, but I hope that I won’t procrastinate too much ^^; & my exams are next week, so maybe after end of August, at least…


Btw, my results for the previous exam came out this week, on Mon. & I failed. It’s the 1st time I really failed sth in a more serious way, but I wasn’t shocked, I sorta expected it, & I’m not upset in any way at all. & I feel as though I wanted to prove it so much, that I failed because I didn’t do well enough in the exam, but not really. It’s just that whenever I tell someone that I’m gonna fail because I didn’t study enough, or that I didn’t do well in the exam so I’m gonna fail, nobody believes me because so far I’ve never failed before. Well, now I have. Finally~ it’s like, I half feel a bit relieved that I failed, because now I feel that I deserved it, even if I did study for it, because I know I didn’t do well in the exam at all, & I couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty last time when I passed even though I didn’t deserve it, but of course I was glad that I passed. I guess I’m finally in reality, & the good thing about reality is that you’ll feel much more satisfied & happy if you got good results & you know that it was all from your own effort rather than just being blessed even though you didn’t deserve it.


I’m not sure whether ppl will understand the last paragraph I juz wrote, but it doesn’t matter, sort of what I feel inside me that was always hard to say, because I doubt anyone would really understand my feelings. But, the good thing was that although I failed, I failed at costing, which was what I was struggling with, but still ok at it, whereas for law, I wasn’t really struggling, just found it hard to memorise all that crap. So I’m glad I didn’t fail law, because I was thinking, either I’d fail law, or costing, or even both, & it’d be horrible if I failed both T_T but I just can’t imagine doing law again, I’d feel terrible, whereas I wouldn’t really mind doing costing again, just that I’m a bit scared that I’ll fail, since I failed before anyway.


I’m quite sure I’ll fail in my test next week cos I’ve been slacking a lot (unusually depressed since term started), but it’s an internal exam, so I’m not so bothered with it atm, & I hope I’ll feel better so I can buck up & start studying hard like everyone else, but I can’t seem to take my life seriously. & I shouldn’t say this, because it’s not very nice, but actually, I’m pretty suicidal. & I can’t help thinking, there’s not much point living sometimes, so I feel like I might as well disappear from this world ^^; scary, isn’t it? If you’re not suicidal, you definitely wouldn’t understand this feeling, & probably can’t, & it could be because I’m spoilt, & have everything that I’d want, but maybe if I was poor & suffering, I’d feel the same way, but maybe not, since even now, there shouldn’t be any reason for me to feel suicidal, I’m not suffering that much like other ppl, but ppl do crazy things sometimes. Anyway, in case anyone thinks this, let me just clarify that my suicidal feelings are not because of my results because I felt it before my results. There isn’t really any reason for me to be suicidal, but all I want to say is, if I commit suicide, I’d rather do it for no particular reason, or a lot of trivial reasons, rather than for a specific reason, like my bf dumped me, or my results, or because I’ve been bullied by ppl etc.


Anyway, I’m sorry that my blog is longer than what I intended because I wrote another page’s worth of my results & all that, that was out of topic… see you after my exams, can’t wait for that to be over ^^;

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

The next day after exams

hmm... well, although I did mention tat "there's no way I'm gonna put pics of my life" in my 2nd last post, I did promise karyn that I'd post this, so I guess I'd have to take back what I said... ^^;

actually, I was going to blog about my life in that sense, but it was more that I like to talk about movies, so I'd give comments & I'd get to put some nice pics at the same time XD but I forgot to mention movie pics, it slipped my mind... ^^;

we did see a movie, but I'll blog about it in the next post...

so, what happened was basically immediately after exams, on wed (exams finished on tue), karyn & I planned to go out together *btw, she said tat only ppl with no life wldn't go out on the day after exams ;-P)but we both went on9 until 2 am, so normally at this point, you'd expect ppl to wake up late & all that, rite?

wrong! XP she had to come early to my house that morning due to transport issues, & the time she came was at 7.15 am. The things young ppl do these days... ^^; but honestly, it's the 1st time any of my friends ever came to my house so early, but since she had a reason for it, I still consider her normal, but actually, I really wouldn't mind anyone coming early cos then it means that we spend longer time together, or have more fun together haha.

anyway, our plan was basically quite relaxed, cos most young ppl don't plan much normally lol XP we basically planned to see the movie "enchanted" & stay in the bookshop to read. but normal ppl won't go together to a bookshop to read, but we wanted to try it out... ;-D cos it's good to be different from other ppl, but not in a bad way of cos... ;-P

anyway, things didn't really go as planned, but we did see the movie... I'll comment about it in my next post... we didn't really get to read in the bookshop which is too bad, but we still had fun otherwise... rather, you could say more fun than reading in a bookshop together...

btw, I forgot to mention tat we went midvalley, so the bookshop was mph... before seeing the movie, cos we had enough time, we went to pets wonderland cos I wanted to, & besides the animals are cute~ ^^

some pics will show wat it is tat we saw...

the 1st things we saw were the cats









fishies! XP






argh~ so gosh-darn cute! XD






aww, isn't tat cute? they look like they're kissing~ ^^;



I dunno why, but I like to see this pic. I guess seeing them all huddled & squished together is cute... ^^;




I put nearly all the pics cos I cldn't resist ^^; well, ppl shldn't mind cos it's cute anyway ;-P

also, cos I like those things like horoscopes & fortunes & so on, we saw a machine & I wanted to try it out. but the stupid thing wouldn't work! to be accurate, what happened was it didn't accept my money (it only accepted 20 cents coins), so yeah, it's their loss...





then, we saw another machine!




the one tat didn't work juz now was one tat supposedly reads ur palms, & it's a machine tat I saw since I was young & alwiz wanted to try it out, but never managed to... the 2nd machine though, I haven't seen before...

it's a machine that tells ur luck based on ur horoscope... so, we decided to try it out... & I kinda remembered tat karyn is the same star as me, cos ur bdays were quite close, so tat's another funny coincidence... & so we managed to save a little bit of money tat day ;-P

well, the 1st thing it wrote was "your lucky day is wednesday" & I found tat highly amusing because that day was wednesday! not that I believed in it, in a way, I was kinda sceptical in the sense tat I was wondering whether it said the same day for all stars or not, but I doubt it... ;-P

well, after tat, we barely made it in time for the show, & after the show, we decided to do what we originally planned for the day which was to read in mph. but, to read, first you'd have to take a book 1st. so, u could say that we spent most of our time looking for a book to read rather than reading the book itself ;-P

actually, I felt that we kinda lost sight of our objective cos we were too busy having fun XP & we basically went around the whole bookshop a few times looking at all the books... & I found out about the more popular or famous stories which I wouldn't have known otherwise cos I'm not interested in the 1st place...

also, while browsing, it did occur my mind (& it made me sigh ^^;) that if I wanted to read a happy gay (as in homosexual ;-P) story, I don't think I would find one available... ;-( but I guess it can't be helped, so I should be satisfied with my comics ;-)

but we did come across sth funny, although actually I didn't notice it, karyn did... but it made us laugh a lot, although you may now wonder at our sense of humour ^^;





I hope you noticed what was different & slightly odd in this picture...



but if you don't, the "chick-lit" is supposed to be spelt as "chic lit" ;-P

how insulting~ ^^;

anyway, I don't want to rant, so to cut this story shorter (since it's quite long already), we didn't do anything particular after that... & so we decided to go home.

cos there was sth else we planned to do that day... & that was to make a cake! XD
because we had enough time & I thought she'd like the idea that she'd get to eat the cake that she baked (as well as the fact that I do have the equipment & ingredients available), so that's basically what happened...

instead of going into elaborate detail, I'll juz show u the pics of the general process... ;-D

1st part: ingredients



this is floor that is sieved... you have to sieve the flour, or else you get a lumpy cake ^^;



we were making coffeecake, so the coffee is mixed in with the floor (it's sieved too)



haha, this is what bored ppl do, or rather beginners... I mentioned that she didn't have enough space for an "a" but she wouldn't listen... XP



next, you have to separate the egg yolk from the egg white, because you have to beat the egg white... this is mine



& this is karyn's... lol XP well, it's reasonable bcos she's a beginner... plus, the fact that that stupid holder is so lousy cos after that I kept on breaking it too T_T;



this is what the egg white looks like when it's being beaten lol ;-D



ooh, all fluffy~ XD



yeah, we had to add brown sugar to the egg white


2nd part: making the cake itself




this is the amount of butter in the cake... which normally applies to most cakes, so you shouldn't be eating cakes for a while after seeing this, but you may also forget this fact when you taste or see a cake XP



not only tat, we have to add sugar!!! truly cakes are frightening, the amount of calories & sugar &... well, there are a lot of unhealthy things that humans consume... only those who make it would probably know just how harmful it is ;-P



this is how we put the sugar in... ;-D



& this is the machine tat makes life so much easier as well as more effiicient XD it's also fun to see the process of mixing lol XP



after sugar, you add egg...



& milk...


for the purpose of not grossing ppl out by certain graphics, we did not take pics of what the cake mixture looks like after the egg & milk has been added haha ;-P





after adding the egg & milk, we took it out of the machine & put it into a separate container, cos supposedly it'll be better to mix the floor manually... so this pic is after the floor has been mixed, which is the last stage...



then, the mixture is put into a pan...



& put into the oven! XD



voila! a cake is made~ ^__^


now tat wasn't so hard, was it? ;-P


so yeah, tat was basically wat happened in tat day, which felt quite long to me, to be honest... ;-) which shows how much things you can do in a day, but if you don't bother to remember it, or write it down, it will eventually be forgotten ^^;

so, I'm encouraging u to write!!! XP but, I'm tired, so I'm gonna go~ ^^;

btw, I can't wait to write my next post, but it may not be appopriate considering the fact tat it'd probably be about christmas, but it'll be posted after christmas is over ^^;

ah well, I'm too slow to post before christmas, so it can't be helped~ ;-P

btw, I'll be going genting for christmas~ my 1st time haha ;-)

so, I'll say this in advance: MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!! XD

hope u get lots of presents~ ^^

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

Eye contact... & relationships?

I have always had an eye contact problem since young, but now it's not so bad, & I don't think so much about it so then I won't really be self-conscious about it... ^^;

My problem was I couldn't stand it if people stared at me, or looked at me too long... I'll feel weird & awkward, & I'll find it hard to look at that person. Actually, a person shouldn't look too long at you anyway, so now that I think about it, I don't think it was a problem last time & it is quite a normal feeling & reaction if someone is staring at you.

I mean, unless you were playing a game or a staring competition, you don't just stare at someone without saying anything. Eye contact when you're talking to someone is good & all, but it's weird to just stare like that. & it's not only that I feel awkward, I also seem to feel scared (when there's no reason to feel that), & so I turn away whenever I feel frightened... ;-(

thank God that's all over now... ;-) I mean, I dun have that fear anymore even if it happens... ;-D

Anyway, I have a few stories (my experiences) to do with eye contact:

Story number 1
This was when I was 13 years old. At that time, I already knew that I didn't like eye contact for too long, & I realised that other people didn't have a problem with it, so I decided that I'll try to improve myself. So, this incident was in the airport in a certain country (can't remember which one T_T;). We were putting our luggage through for it to be scanned, & there was like a security guard watching over the process. & we caught eye contact, & I immediately looked away (bad reaction, & bad habit), so it could've stopped juz like that...

The thing is, I felt bad for doing that, & it juz happen that I remembered that I shouldn't be avoiding eye contact, so I looked back at him, & we caught eye contact again, & I smiled. He smiled back at me too, & then he patted my head, & I felt happy. Then, it seemed that my father saw what happened, cos later on he asked me about it (I can't remember exactly, but it seemed like he wasn't happy about the incident & very suspicious, I dunno why), & I think I tried to explain what I was trying to do, but I could tell he was displeased. At that age, I realised that it had to do with something about growing up, & the fact that I'm not a child anymore (even though they still say that I am), because it's not like someone patting my head is a new thing, it happens when you're a child too, so at that time, I found it strange that my father didn't approve of what happened. To me, it wasn't a big deal.

Story number 2
This was juz recently (as in, this year). It was also not a big deal, but it seems that whenever I think about eye contact & how much have I changed, something happens. Most probably I'm thinking too much about things that people would dismiss easily, but I can't help it. & it's only some things that I think about too much, others I dismiss easily too, so I should write down what actually affected me, rite? ^_^;

Anyway, what happened was, that day, I had met some old ex-schoolmates, & what pissed me off was that we didn't acknowledge each other... but I guess I'm being unfair to the other person as well, bcos although I expect the other person to acknowledge me, I should be the one acknowledging the person also, shouldn't I? I realised that sometimes our culture is like that, although it depends on the person also. Everyone is so scared of losing like an idiot & losing face that they will ignore someone they recognise instead of trying to be friendly. But, I didn't really like the person anyway, so maybe it's better we didn't acknowledge each other... T_T;

So, on the same day, I was cheering myself up & when I was quite happy at one point, I met someone else. It wasn't like there was many ppl around, so what happened was, I passed by this person, & I nearly acknowledged the person (I dunno what I was inclined to do, bow my head a bit or sth), but I didn't. At that time, I was also smiling, so I wasn't sure whether I was smiling at that person too or not... but, that person also looked familiar to me, so I was wondering whether we met at all.

The strange thing that I felt about it was that we were walking past each other, & we were staring at each other for quite a while, not looking away (& not blinking either). & only when we passed each other, did we break eye contact (cos it couldn't be helped). I really felt like looking back, but I didn't. The amusing thing that I was thinking of was maybe we were both blur (I realised that I have this tendency to look straight ahead of me, or juz staring at something without even realising what I'm looking at). XP

Story number 3
This is the most recent that I can remember, & sadly, this is gonna show partly what kind of a person I am *embarrassed*. It was afternoon, like lunchtime, & I was outside at a restaurant (the kind that has buffet). When coming in the place, I noticed there weren't many people, & although I wasn't really paying attention, I did realise that there was a table that was occupied.

Anyway, after we sat down, the person I was with suggested we look at the buffet, so went to look at the buffet. This is the crucial part. You see, that table was occupied by a man (well, he doesn't look that young, at least more than 20 years old), & actually, to be honest, I didn't want to eat buffet, but I juz went along with it juz to walk past him T_T;

haha cos what happened was when walking to our table at 1st, I could feel him staring at me (call me perasan or whatever, but it's juz my feelings), so cos I was curious, I decided to walk past him again to see whether he'd look. & he did! XP

anyway, it's no big deal, I must've been really bored or sth, so I was juz amusing myself... & throughout the lunch, I was trying to sneak peeks at him without making it obvious (cos he looked not bad, so I was curious about him) & guess what happens? His wife & child comes lol ^^;

his wife is quite pretty, & the child is quite cute too... ^^ but I suddenly had this thought in my mind (it's just a thought, ok, it couldn't be helped)...

how do ppl have affairs anyway? I mean, it's in a way one of the taboo things, & yet, there are so many cases all around the world! another common story, although not so common, is a teacher-student relationship... to be honest, I've always liked that kinda relationship (although I know a lot who don't), but that's only if they're still within a tolerable age gap... cos most of the time ppl who don't like the idea of seeing a teacher-student relationship is because of the age difference, & therefore it feels wrong... so it's obvious that they don't have to be a teacher or student, it could juz be the age gap problem...

but I think I like taboo relationships ^^; haha depends on how taboo it is, of course, I can't stand some stories that are really sick cos they seem to go beyond human morals T_T; but yeah, whether real life or story, it feels that the relationship between two ppl is so much stronger when they go through hardship together... but then again, I love happy stories with as little hardship as possible, so of course, the latter is better any time~ <3

but the reason why I was having that stupid thought about affairs (which I hardly think about, least of all when saying a married man) is because of the stupid show I saw the night before that... there was one part where the daughter was having an affair with a married man, & she got pregnant, & she wanted to abort the baby (I think in the end she didn't)... but I felt so irritated with her! why have a relationship, let alone sex, with someone who's already married, & is not interested in anything other than sex with you? so, I thought she was stupid, but ppl can be stupid sometimes (it's their nature) so it can't be helped... I mean, it's that feeling where you know it's wrong, but you still do it... so, I juz pity her, since she got involved in that...


also, it sounds strange to say this, but when you're looking at someone face-to-face, where exactly do you look? generally at their face, rite? at least, I think that should be the case...

the thing is, although I do that, sometimes, I try to look at a person properly (when I think of trying to have eye contact, that is), & when I do, I start having problems. As in, I wonder whether I'm really looking at the person or not, which shows that I shouldn't have thought about it, cos it makes me feel self-conscious.

you see, when I try to look at a person properly, I'll be thinking, "I should look at the eyes". But then, when I look at the eyes, I find it hard to look at both eyes at the same time. It's not easy trying to look with both of your eyes at both of the person's eyes, usually you tend to focus on one thing only.

haha I still find it funny realising this about myself though lol XP

PS: I still have exams next week, & I'm blogging!!! but then again, there are other classmates of mine who are still blogging, but well, I may not be as good as them ^^;

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Early birthday presents

Even though my exams for my college were over, I felt lazy to blog & have been doing nth but reading comics, watching TV & juz zoning out... XD
It's funny, cos before my exams were over, I was longing to blog & all, but then I didn't really feel like it after my exams were really over ;-P probably cos when I had to study for exams, I couldn't really relax properly & wanted to do sth that didn't count to me as entertainment... T_T;

anyway, I was really happy yesterday & I decided to blog no matter what, cos I shouldn't be so lazy anyway... ;-D
yesterday was really funny, cos what happened is that my dad kept on wanting to celebrate my bday before we go to redang, which is before this sunday, cos my bday is next thursday, & we won't be at home during that time (my 1st bday that I remember which is not at home, or rather, somewhere else)
so, he kept on saying, "tomorrow" or "saturday", & then yesterday when I was in the room (it's my parents bedroom, but that's where the computers are you see, & anyway, it's a big room, so I juz happened to be there), my whole family surprised me with early bday presents! XD

actually, normally, all this is my dad's idea, but the rest of my family knew about it anyway, & yeah, we didn't really celebrate, but half-celebrate (actually, this could be counted as celebrating already ^_^;)
wat my dad did was he came into the room with a present (it was the shape of a box), & on top of it was a bday candle (obviously lighted up) *__*
& I was like, "omg, is this for real?!?" & behind my father, my brother was videotaping it!!!
at that time, I was lying on the bed on my stomach & I couldn't help thinking, "This isn't a very good pose," T_T; & yeah, I wasn't in my best look when I was being videotaped, but I thought, "Oh, what the hell," ;-P

anyway, upon opening the present, with everyone's eyes on me, I found out it was my sis's camera, & that she was giving it to me... actually, my mum already told me, so I wasn't surprised, but of course, the rest of my family didn't know that, so I acted a bit (hopefully it was enough), cos my mum said that since I was a good girl, she's tell me what's going on...
it seems that my dad, seeing how I like taking pics so much, bought a new camera for me, but after that felt that it was better given to my sis (which I don't mind, cos actually I really dun take as much pics as my sis), or rather to be more honest, they didn't want my sis to be jealous, cos since young, it was always as though I was the more spoilt one in the family that was given everything I wanted, or at least that's partly wat my sis felt as well, but she'll never say whether she's jealous or not... T_T;

actually, I feel that they juz dun noe how to ask for things, & probably because I'm more materialistic... cos if my parents ask them, & they shrug, & say "I dunno" or "Anything", then it's not like they really want anything, or even show it, so it's not my fault... T_T;

anyway, to continue, I got a camera now, & I'm quite happy about it (it's still sth, & it's true that I always wanted a camera), cos the reason why he wanted to give me the present yesterday was cos today I'm going out to meet my ex-classmates, & he thought it'd be nice if I could take pics with my ex-classmates (cos there's no knowing when we'll be meeting again), & I thought that was nice & thoughtful of him... ;-)

also, the reason why I want a camera is to take pics & blog!!! XP
cos part of the fun in blogging is also putting up pics, juz words are boring, rite? ;-P

then, wat happened was I was still in the room, looking at my camera & stuff, & my dad came in with another bday present! it was quite small, & I couldn't help wondering wat it could be, cos I dun remember anything I wanted that was small, & it was... well, I knew wat it was, but I dunno wat's the name for it... ^^;

here it is (taken with my camera ;-P):




it's sth like an adapter (maybe that's the name), & it's used to charged my mp4 player (maybe it's called a charger T_T;), cos my mp4 player can only be charged on the com & my dad said that there should be a way for it to charge without needing a stupid com with me all the time (we are going redang, you noe, but yeah, I decided to take the laptop with me anyway ^^), so if we went overseas next time (cos before that, we did plan to go new zealand, but not enough ppl to book a tour, so we didn't go), I noe we can't bring the laptop with us (I'll get a serious lecture, & I already tried that last year), so at least I can charge my mp4 player (music is my life, or at least, a big part of it XP) ^__^

then, while I was admiring it, my dad got another present for me!!! how cool is that?!? but that was it for yesterday night, although it's more than wat normal ppl would get (last year, I got a whole stack of presents, which was the most I got for my bday so far, & they were all stuff like shows, anime, my 1st time receiving anime as a bday present!, books...)
this time was funny, cos when I opened my present, I was like, "??? what is it?" & I was like, "oops, I dun even noe wat it is," ;-P




anyway, my dad explained it to me, cos before this, my hp can take pics but I couldn't transfer it on the com because of the infrared thing, & cos our com can't sense it, so that's wat he bought for me, not sure wat it's called though ;-D
the point is, now I can take pics & transfer it on my com (b4 this, I had to use my sis's laptop, & she's not with us all the time T_T;) XD

so yeah, those were my bday presents yesterday, & I noticed that they were all technology presents, which is also a 1st for me, & yeah, my dad mentioned it too, that he was giving me high-tech presents, cos my mum had no idea wat I was receiving, & yeah, some things are harder to know anyway... ;-)
at this time, I always feel a bit bad, cos I'm the kind of person who's embarrassed to say thanx to my family, & yeah, they're always so good to me, yet I never show my appreciation & all, so I thought I'd thank them here, cos I really am grateful to them, & even if I can't say it, at least it's here... ;-D

I'm hungry so I'm gonna eat now, but probably the next time I blog will be after I come back from redang... bye bye! ;-)

Tuesday, May 22, 2007

Something New

well, before I write about what happened today, I was thinking, when I started this blog, I kinda expected it to be depressing most of the time, with complaints about my parents, studies & wat normally irritates me... but, I realised that it's not really nice to write depressing stuff all the time, & who wants to read stuff like that anyway? I noe I don't, although everybody's taste is different... so anyway, I'll try my best not to be too depressing, but hey, it's not like I'm a depressing person anyway, I can get cheered up very easily! ^__^

anyway, today I lent my shoulder to a guy. well, I guess it's ok since he's a friend (although we only knew each other for a few months or so), but it's my 1st time, & I think when he rested his head on my shoulder, I stiffened up a bit cos my mum alwiz thought me since young that you can't simply do these kinda things cos it's not good, but I stopped following her about that (yes, I know I'm naughty & bad =P)...

but, seriously, we're juz friends, nth more, so it's ok... it's juz that, when all that was happening, I couldn't help thinking, if only the person I liked (still unknown) would lean his head on my shoulder, or vice versa (actually, the latter is better for me, hehe XD)... but, cos b4 this, I dun really haf guy friends, so I was thinking that this is a good thing, & I'd like to have guy & girl friends cos friends are impt, rite? ^__^ but, I hardly have any good friends, so all I can do is hope that every friend I make will be a good friend... ;-)

yep, that's about it... actually, b4 this, I wanted to complain about my parents, especially my father, cos he's been irritating me with his nagging again (I normally dun have a temper, but when he starts, I can feel myself boiling! T_T;), but today I dun feel like it, so I'm sure I'll complain on other days anyway, so there's no need to complain today... ^^;

also, although I noe I never study, but I'm still not really studying... I really feel pathetic, but I can't seem to stop screwing up my life, so I juz hope that all goes well for me... >_<;

cos sometimes I wonder, is my life like a storybook? if so, it should have a happy ending, rite? but, then again, a lotta stupid books dun have happy endings, & I dun read those kinda books, but well, I hope my life isn't that kinda book... so, that always gives me hope, cos a lotta good things have happened to me, & I can only thank God for his grace & mercy to someone like me, who doesn't even have a close relationship to him T_T; Thank you, God! XD