Paranoia

My classes started this week ;-(

The 1st week is always easier, & yet harder at the same time for me. Easier because the pace of the lessons is still compared to the future lessons, & harder because my brain is a bit sluggish after the holidays, & still not geared in study mode yet ^^;

I normally go to college around 7.20am because my classes start at 8. So I'd wake up much earlier because I don't like being sleepy in class, & I can be properly awake before I go to college. So I'd wake up around 6 something. That's how much time I take to wake up lol

Yesterday, I woke up in a very blurred state. Which is actually normal for me, & I was still half-asleep in my dream. & I kept tossing & turning in a very sleepy way, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, I must get up soon or else I'd oversleep (my normal thought process to get out of bed).

I managed to stumble out of bed (also normal) & headed to the toilet. On my way, I suddenly realised how dark it was around the house. To be more specific, I took notice of the fact that there was no light downstairs. This may not be of significance to other people, but to me it was, even in my sleepy state.

You see, at 6 something, my mum would have already left for work, & the light would be on downstairs. So, although it could be that my mum wasn't working, or that she forgot to switch on the light, but I had a nasty suspicion that it's not even 6 something (all this I was thinking through very slowly in my head. If you were there, you'd probably see my brain slowly moving)

So I looked at my handphone. & it was 2am =__= & I went to bed at 11 something, so it's funny that I actually thought I slept enough for the night

So I went back to sleep haha

The thing is, this wasn't the first time I experienced this. In my school days, I experienced it once too, & after that, I'd always check the time after I woke up before I actually got out of bed (I still do), but of course, we're all human, so at times I forget.

But I realised I was strange in this aspect, because I tend to wake up earlier before the alarm rings after a while of waking up at the same time every day. Like my dad actually. He wakes up around the same time every morning too. So I still think it's partly caused by my genes.

The other part is that I can't seem to stand being waken up, so much that I wake up before the time I'm supposed to wake up. At first, it was my dad waking me up, & I thought it was because of that, but when I started using an alarm clock (& now, my handphone alarm), I realised that it was the same thing, & I do sorta hate the alarm clock waking me up. But I don't mind my handphone alarm so much (cos I can play a nice song to wake me up). So I came to the conclusion that I just can't stand being woken up so much that I wake up earlier myself, voluntarily (in a way).

& occasionally for me, I wake up a few times in one night, thinking it's time to wake up, & realising that it's still too early. I think it's because I'm somehow paranoid that I'd oversleep, although I actually only overslept once in my entire life, & that was in Form 3, & my dad overslept too, so that's why he didn't wake me up. Talk about coincidences.

That's all I wanted to say. Feels kinda abrupt, but I'm not good at ending what I say, & probably that's also why I keep going on & on sometimes lol