lol you know what? I forgot all about my blog after that one week’s rest ^^;
Before I start with the topic of my post, I juz wanted to talk about what’s going on recently in the world to show that I’m not unaware of what’s going on. Of course, the main event is Olympics!
Some ppl aren’t interested at all in it because they’re not interested in sports. Some ppl may be surprised to know that I like sports, a lot, & I quite like watching it too, but normally don’t bother to because of constraint of time. The kind of sports in Olympics that I love watching (but obviously I can’t do) are the gymnastics, but I also liked to watch those snow sports, even though I didn’t get to much, but maybe it’s because it looks nice, & I can’t help feeling that the only reason why I can’t do those is because I’m living in a country which will never snow T_T but oh well, life is like that.
Unfortunately, I don’t have the channel to watch the Olympics event either, on Astro, although the local channel does show it, but there have been complaints about that local channel regarding the Olympics, so I didn’t bother trying to see the events on that particular channel. I might as well wait for the next Olympics lol.
anyway, back to the main topic. This will be a relatively short post compared to the other posts that I have been doing ^^; I just wanted to share the experience I felt, so I thought that I might as well blog about it ;-)
Technically, it wasn’t my 1st time. But I think it was the first time I drank so much in the same hour, & legally, it was my 1st time ^___^ I drank it in TGIFs at lunch (not a big deal, but just mentioning it). You see, it’s just that after that I still had classes, so it was quite amusing wondering whether ppl could tell that I was drunk (although I didn’t feel drunk, but I certainly felt something, & it could be considered a bit drunk).
It was funny, because after we ordered our meal (I was with someone at that time), including the drink, the waitress came back, saying that she needed to see our IC, & we were like, wth, but we showed her anyway, although mine is a Photostatted version because I wouldn’t dare to bring out my IC with me unless I really needed to, & probably she didn’t expect us to be old enough, cos she looked surprised, but she said OK & she confessed that she’s actually younger than us, which surprised me because I didn’t think so, but I’ve never been able to really tell the age of a person anyway.
Anyway, I don’t really remember what I ordered already, but I think it was called the 77 Sunset Strip, & it’s a mixture of gin, rum & vodka. At least, that’s what I think, but I only remember it having gin & vodka (& I know vodka is strong, so I thought I’d rather drink strong alcohol than weak alcohol lol). & I guessed that it was rum because the drink wasn’t bitter like when I normally drink alcohol last time, & it tasted a little bit like rum, but I could hardly taste it, & I still don’t know what gin & vodka taste like by themselves, but plenty of time & opportunity for that ;-P
You could say I drank it in one go, but I didn’t think of it that way. Because for one thing, I was drinking through a straw. When you drink through a straw, you can’t drink so much in one go, it gets quite limited ^^; but you could say I drank through the straw continuously without stopping until the glass was empty. But it wasn’t a very big glass, but not a small glass either, so it was quite ok. I’d say around 200-300 ml if my assumptions can be considered close to accurate ^^;
The effects wasn’t really immediate, but it took me a while to realise that what I was experiencing was because of alcohol ^^; my 1st thought was that I felt dizzy, but then when I was trying to analyse my feelings & experience, it wasn’t exactly dizziness or nausea. It’s more like, my head felt really full, & a little bit heavy, & it was a bit hard for me to focus on what the other person was saying, but I’d concentrate on keeping my eyes focused on the person’s face lol ;-P I think I also felt a bit sleepy at the same time, but I really did feel a bit like wanting to roll my eyes to the back of my head, or at least something similar to that effect. It might’ve been considered as headache too, since headache is quite general, but it didn’t feel like the normal headaches that I have had. But whatever I experienced, it definitely wasn’t a high feeling, nor was it a happy feeling. Basically, just a foggy feeling in my mind, but I still could think & was still quite of sound mind haha ;-D I guess I wasn’t that drunk, but I can’t imagine being that drunk, although it should be possible, obviously. & I thought that it would be amusing if I still felt this way when I went for class, which was at least 2-3 hours later, but that feeling went away after one hour, gradually.
So yeah, that’s about it. Not sure when I’ll blog again, but I hope that I won’t procrastinate too much ^^; & my exams are next week, so maybe after end of August, at least…
Btw, my results for the previous exam came out this week, on Mon. & I failed. It’s the 1st time I really failed sth in a more serious way, but I wasn’t shocked, I sorta expected it, & I’m not upset in any way at all. & I feel as though I wanted to prove it so much, that I failed because I didn’t do well enough in the exam, but not really. It’s just that whenever I tell someone that I’m gonna fail because I didn’t study enough, or that I didn’t do well in the exam so I’m gonna fail, nobody believes me because so far I’ve never failed before. Well, now I have. Finally~ it’s like, I half feel a bit relieved that I failed, because now I feel that I deserved it, even if I did study for it, because I know I didn’t do well in the exam at all, & I couldn’t help feeling a bit guilty last time when I passed even though I didn’t deserve it, but of course I was glad that I passed. I guess I’m finally in reality, & the good thing about reality is that you’ll feel much more satisfied & happy if you got good results & you know that it was all from your own effort rather than just being blessed even though you didn’t deserve it.
I’m not sure whether ppl will understand the last paragraph I juz wrote, but it doesn’t matter, sort of what I feel inside me that was always hard to say, because I doubt anyone would really understand my feelings. But, the good thing was that although I failed, I failed at costing, which was what I was struggling with, but still ok at it, whereas for law, I wasn’t really struggling, just found it hard to memorise all that crap. So I’m glad I didn’t fail law, because I was thinking, either I’d fail law, or costing, or even both, & it’d be horrible if I failed both T_T but I just can’t imagine doing law again, I’d feel terrible, whereas I wouldn’t really mind doing costing again, just that I’m a bit scared that I’ll fail, since I failed before anyway.
I’m quite sure I’ll fail in my test next week cos I’ve been slacking a lot (unusually depressed since term started), but it’s an internal exam, so I’m not so bothered with it atm, & I hope I’ll feel better so I can buck up & start studying hard like everyone else, but I can’t seem to take my life seriously. & I shouldn’t say this, because it’s not very nice, but actually, I’m pretty suicidal. & I can’t help thinking, there’s not much point living sometimes, so I feel like I might as well disappear from this world ^^; scary, isn’t it? If you’re not suicidal, you definitely wouldn’t understand this feeling, & probably can’t, & it could be because I’m spoilt, & have everything that I’d want, but maybe if I was poor & suffering, I’d feel the same way, but maybe not, since even now, there shouldn’t be any reason for me to feel suicidal, I’m not suffering that much like other ppl, but ppl do crazy things sometimes. Anyway, in case anyone thinks this, let me just clarify that my suicidal feelings are not because of my results because I felt it before my results. There isn’t really any reason for me to be suicidal, but all I want to say is, if I commit suicide, I’d rather do it for no particular reason, or a lot of trivial reasons, rather than for a specific reason, like my bf dumped me, or my results, or because I’ve been bullied by ppl etc.
Anyway, I’m sorry that my blog is longer than what I intended because I wrote another page’s worth of my results & all that, that was out of topic… see you after my exams, can’t wait for that to be over ^^;
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