Exams over!

I've finished my exams! & I'm in kuching! XD XD

it's always a very funny feeling when exams are over. for one thing, it feels a long time ago since I did my exams. another thing is that it feels hard to believe that I just went through those 3 hour exams that were considered as sth similar (but much milder) to Judgment Day for me lol & time juz passes so fast. But I'm really glad the horrible 3 hrs are over (for the moment. still got next year).

it's more that I always felt as though I manage to somehow bypass the hard moments. but atm, I can still rmb how it felt like in the exam hall, so I haven't completely forgotten yet ;-) not that I particularly want to remember how it felt, but it's rare that I still remember it vividly enough, compared to my other faint memories of certain hardships

Also, I got completely distracted at one point when studying. You see, I was thinking about the subjects I failed. I failed the same paper twice. For both times, it was the last exam I attempted. On my third attempt, I passed. But I failed another paper. Which was the last exam I attempted.

& because I had no idea why I failed on my second attempt or passed on my third attempt, I couldn't help thinking that it could be that I failed because I relax just because it is the last exam, in which case it's all my fault for not taking my last exam seriously enough! o_O;;

of course, I knew this was all my imagination & just a horrible coincidence caused by my overimagination. & the fact that I was poor at those papers I failed proved that there was a justification for failure (somewhat). it was still a possibility though.

most of the time I felt depressed though. or rather, thoughts like "I'd have to marry someone just like charlotte did (reference from pride & prejudice) because I'm gonna fail again, & I don't know how many times I'll keep failing, & when I'll ever graduate, & I'd need someone to support me financially."

Of course, I knew it wasn't as bad as all that, & I don't really need someone to support me, but those were still my thoughts. I did think rationally too though, like "The worst case is that I graduate in 2011 (actually it could be worse than that, but I wouldn't wanna insult my intelligence that far, even though I know it has nothing to do with intelligence. it just feels related to my intelligence, or the lack of it).

Some other thoughts were probably regarding the papers themselves, comments etc. Which I can't remember at all.

Oh! Because I knew I was going to kuching, I liked cheering myself up with the thought that in xx days, I'd be on a plane~ ^__^ although kuching itself doesn't feel like a big deal or much of a holiday, but it's the idea of sitting on planes that I like. I like being in airports, as in, when departing to another place. It fills me with excitement somehow. I still haven't been to the airports that many times to lose that feeling. My mum did say though, that I wouldn't feel that way if I was travelling all the time, or as often as some people who have to (bcos of work), & dislike travelling because of it. Actually my mum is one of those people lol but I dun think she minds travelling on holidays as much.

Anyway, although I like the idea of sitting in a plane, actually I don't really like being in a plane. Sometimes the smell feels too strong for me & makes me sick >_> I don't remember having such a problem last time, but in recent years, it has happened more frequently.

I probably bored lots of people edi, should have mentioned that I was just going to crap about stuff.

oh, I also wanted to say, it's so strange. Cos I feel a bit different this time after exams are over. As in, normally I'd be happy. Ridiculously happy. Happy in the sense that I'll just be laughing for no reason on & on just because. Ok fine, not that long. & not the kind of laugher that's caused by suddenly seeing something funny. More like "HA HA HA HA HA HA HA" (similar to the way the giant went FEE-FI-FO-FUM). You should be thankful we're not family members haha

So, I was laughing, but in a milder way. I feel a bit different this time. I feel mildly happy, calm, peaceful, FREE~ *_* and happy! and... and.... empty. Why? I dunno, I just feel empty somehow. Like my brain has nothing inside it, & is incapable of doing strenuous (mind) activities. Actually, it's not true though, as in, I'm sure I'm perfectly capable of utilising my brain. In fact, my mind feels very active atm (probably caused by the lack of work it is doing).

As usual, I'm bad at ending my posts, so here's a pic to end it ;-D

early xmas present that I got before my exams XD I liked the way the boxes look (I <3 how presents look anyway), so I had to take pics ;-D


make that 2 pics lol. I never expected to get chocs for xmas, but this chocs are rather special, you see. They're TRUFFLES *__* & never sold before previously, so my mum bought them for my siblings & I. The last time I ate truffles was when I was 8, & those truffles were from America, so it's not like I expected to eat them again (cos I didn't expect them to come here, after so many years).