Friday, August 28, 2009

Selfish or Unselfish

Unselfishness was one of the first few things I remembered learning. Actually, it was also one of the hardest things for me to apply, because I used to be very selfish & self-centred. Which is why I was called "spoilt brat" a lot.

The funny thing is that now I'm less selfish, but my own family wouldn't even realise that (specifically one person), because they'd think that I never change bla bla bla & then they complain about me being nicer to my friends than family (which they've been saying since I was young anyway, & lots of other people feel say that too). But it's a bit harder to be nicer to my family when they seem to expect the worst from me sometimes.

Anyway, in one of my attempts to be a better person & be more unselfish (if I was ever unselfish last time), I couldn't help thinking, if I'm unselfish, & usually being unselfish implies some sort of sacrifice on your own part for someone else, then isn't the other person being selfish? A common example would be in a game of baseball/basketball/football/badminton (doubles)/tennis (doubles) & most other ball games (but not for table tennis doubles because you take turns to hit the ball anyway lol), the 1st person will say "You take it (supposedly being unselfish, but that person could be avoiding something possibly tedious or inconvenient)," & the other person would say "Oh no, YOU take it" & the ball will end up in the middle, something like that (it's shown in quite a number of movies too).

To me, unselfishness could be in the form of sacrificing something tangible or intangible. For me, it started with food. It was hard for me to give something I liked to eat to someone else, cos at that time I hardly ate much. Unfortunately, probably the reason why I don't mind doing so anymore is because I eat so much now T_T but ignore that lol which is why it applies to games also, because it is not easy for anyone to have a chance to play, especially when so many people wanna play.

Unselfishness is also linked with consideration for other people, but then again, I think all these values should link to one another in some way or other. & technically, I guess you could say that the other person (if it was direct & not indirect) couldn't be called selfish either, because it's only right that they should accept the 1st person's unselfishness gracefully & thank the person for it.

I hope I made sense, but if not, never mind. I usually wouldn't like to talk about this kinda topic (as in, values & all, since I hate moral lessons, but that was for a different reason lol) but it was just something that I thought about since young, & I'd tell my mum about it (I think I was trying to defend my selfishness lol), so I wonder whether anyone ever thought it from that perspective. Maybe it depends whether you were a selfish person more or unselfish person more. ;-P

3 comments:

-eve- said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

I never thought about it that way (one person being unselfish making the other selfish), but it's an interesting point of view. Re the sharing of food... I think that's when true love is shown, that you dun have enough food and you let someone else share (like in this story - http://www.columbia.edu/cu/augustine/arch/teresa94.html)

E

minasete said...

I thought about it a lot, bcos I wanted to be selfish, but it's probably sth every kid feels

if there's no food, & someone shares it, it's more like sacrifice, which demonstrates true love also, but you would be unselfish with the person you love anyway ;-)

which is why it'd be really annoying (& nice at the same time) if a couple were both offering each other, & both are not receiving

so true love would be a good balance of give and take XD not easy in real life though