I’ve been wondering, is it culture, or age, or just human nature? Let me tell you what happened to me (at least 2 months ago), & see whether it happened to you or not, because this is something common for me, so it’s not like it didn’t happen before.
You know, when you meet new ppl? There’s 2 differences; one is when everyone is new, & doesn’t know each other at all, so you’ve to go around making new friends. Another one is when you’re introduced to new ppl by someone, or you meet new ppl who’re friends of your friends.
This probably applies both ways, but the most recent for me was the latter. So, I was being introduced to 4 or 5 friends of a friend, & although I say introduced, actually I wasn’t really. All that happened was that I joined my friend, said hi to his friends, & they said hi back, & that’s it. It wouldn’t even be really called a hi, more like an awkward nod of the head & an awkward smile to show that “yes, I know you’re there” but I’ve been ignored before too anyway. There were also some cases where we’d shake hands, & that feels awkward too, but not so bad, because at least both parties are trying to be nice & friendly, so we can’t help thinking of shaking hands (unless it’s because we’ve been brought up that way, & not everyone was brought up to shake hands when meeting new ppl).
There are 2 issues in this. One is that most of the time, when I meet new ppl, I don’t know their names. If we talk, it’d be talking, but no one mentions their name or asks the other. Of course, there are ppl who still start off by saying “hi, I’m XXX. What’s yours?” but that only happened with a few ppl in college last year when everyone was still new.
That was also a funny memory, because everyone is so awkward. When I came into the class on the 1st day, the class reminded me of a tomb, as though someone died in there (which reminded me of one of my classes in school last time which was most of the time like that ^^;). Probably at break or after the 1st day, ppl started making friends, but there were a few groups of friends already on the 1st day because they’re from the same school or they’ve known each other before.
Unfortunately for me, I always seem to be on a path separate from my friends, but the good thing is that I make friends with new ppl, which I wouldn’t be able to if I chose the path that most of my friends went. But that’s just my personality, it’s hard for me to make friends with new ppl when I have existing friends by my side ^^;
& it’s funny, not knowing ppl’s names, because later on, when ppl start knowing each other’s names, you’ve to go & find out discreetly what their names are, & they find out about your names discreetly too, because all of a sudden, they’re suddenly calling you by name when previously they weren’t. I’m not sure how I managed this far, but I feel like a spy sometimes lol ;-P I know that some of my friends would ask me what their names are, but sometimes I wouldn’t know also, so I guess probably everyone goes asking around what a particular person’s name is from everyone but that person XP
The 2nd issue is that not only do we not know each other’s names, but we can’t even say hi to each other when we meet! Probably other ppl may feel like me, which is why nothing happens, but I’d look at the person to see whether the person says hi first. But that person would look the other way (maybe not purposely then), so I’d look another way too ^^;
As in, this happens also when I’m with a group of ppl, & they don’t bother to say hi although I was going to, when I joined them. So I only talk occasionally when I feel like saying something, but otherwise I’ll keep quiet. Obviously, I won’t even call those ppl friends, but even ppl who aren’t that close wouldn’t do that, I feel, it depends on the person who does it.
But so far, when I think back, most of the time these occasions were with guys, not girls. So I thought maybe it’s a gender thing, you know, some guys are super shy, stuff like that. But there are some bitches too, or else normally I get along well enough with girls. So I wonder whether those guys are really shy, or whether they’re just rude, or is it a culture thing, unless everyone in other countries do that too, which I think would be normal. So then it’d be considered human nature to do something like that.
Which is why I normally end up liking guys who’re friendly & nice because then nobody would be ignored or missed out by those guys, but those guys have their faults too ^^; well, everyone has faults, so it’s just which faults you mind & which you don’t mind ;-)
& I’ll end it like this. I think this kind of topics are food for thought, but that’s because I like to think about ppl in general, with reference to examples, & human nature. ;-D
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