I'm not blogging till after exams T____T which is actually 16 days from now *dies*

What I wanted to post, but didn't post, last week...

I've been neglecting my blog lately ;-( because of some intensive classes during last week & weekend till this week, so I haven't had the time nor the strength to blog. Actually, I did want to blog, but got distracted (it's ps fault), so fine, it's not that I couldn't blog. Although it's true that with all this studying & revising, nothing else comes to mind except studies-related stuff.

Actually, not true again. There were thoughts that went through my mind, & disappeared as abruptly as they came. But even if I could remember them, I didn't think they were very interesting, although who said a blog needs to be interesting anyway.

... & that's where I stopped, & didn't write anymore haih. It's sad when something sucks you dry & leaves you feeling totally empty somehow. I didn't use the computer at all last week, so you could say I was trying to get rid of my distractions, but it didn't work that well either.

I got sick <------ just an update if anyone's interested. I'm still coughing even now T________T

I was gonna post some stuff that isn't original but easier for me to post, things that I like & wanted to share with others, then I changed my mind cos it was wasting time, but now I changed my mind again lol

I'm posting it in the next post, just because I want to give a special title for it, hehe XDD

... as in, next post, the post below this post, because if I put it in the next post on top of this post, some ppl wouldn't see this post, & then it'd be like, why am I writing this anyway? on the other hand, why are people reading this anyway. so yeah, just close this page & do something more fun, that's what you should do.

Cannibalism

lyrics from the movie Sweeney Todd (Todd being Johnny Depp XDD & Lovett being Helena Bonham Carter XD both people I like)

I'm not good with explanations, & I thought people wouldn't mind reading this & that they wouldn't feel lost just reading this kinda thing, but if I'm wrong, sorry then. You don't have to read this, it's just something that I like & wanted to share.

If you want to hear it

MRS. LOVETT: Seems a downright shame...

TODD: Shame?

LOVETT: Seems an awful waste...

Such a nice, plump frame

Wot's 'is name has...

Had...

Has!

Nor it can't be traced...

Bus'ness needs a lift,

Debts to be erased...

Think of it as thrift,

As a gift,

If you get my drift!

No?

Seems an awful waste...

I mean, with the price of meat

What it is,

When you get it,

If you get it...

TODD: HAH!

LOVETT: Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!

Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!

And a pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most!

And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste!

TODD: Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

LOVETT: Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD: Eminently practical

And yet appropriate as always!

LOVETT: It's an idea...

TODD: Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived

Without you all these years, I'll never know!

How delectable!

Also undetectable!

LOVETT: Think about it!

Lots of other gentlemen'll

Soon be comin' for a shave,

Won't they?

Think of

All them

Pies!

TODD: How choice!

How Rare!

TODD: For what's the sound of the world out there?

LOVETT: What, Mr. Todd?

What, Mr. Todd?

What is that sound?

TODD: Those crunching noises pervading the air!

LOVETT: Yes, Mr. Todd!

Yes, Mr. Todd!

Yes, all around!

TODD: It's man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH: And [LOVETT: Then] who are we to deny it in here?

TODD: (spoken) These are desperate times,

Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!

LOVETT: Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

TODD: What is that?

LOVETT: It's priest. Have a little priest.

TODD: Is it really good?

LOVETT: Sir, it's too good, at least!

Then again, they don't commit sins of the flesh,

So it's pretty fresh.

TODD: Awful lot of fat.

LOVETT: Only where it sat.

TODD: Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

LOVETT: No, y'see, the trouble with poet is

'Ow do you know it's deceased?

Try the priest!

TODD: (spoken) Heavenly!

Not as hearty as bishop, perhaps,

but then again, not as bland as curate, either!

LOVETT: And good for business, too -- always leaves you wantin' more!

Trouble is, we only get it on Sundays!

Lawyer's rather nice.

TODD: If it's for a price.

LOVETT: Order something else, though, to follow,

Since no one should swallow it twice!

TODD: Anything that's lean.

LOVETT: Well, then, if you're British and loyal,

You might enjoy Royal Marine!

Anyway, it's clean.

Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

TODD: Is that squire,

On the fire?

LOVETT: Mercy no, sir, look closer,

You'll notice it's grocer!

TODD: Looks thicker,

More like vicar!

LOVETT: No, it has to be grocer --

It's green!

TODD: The history of the world, my love --

LOVETT: Save a lot of graves,

Do a lot of relatives favors!

TODD: Is those below serving those up above!

LOVETT: Ev'rybody shaves,

So there should be plenty of flavors!

TODD: How gratifying for once to know

BOTH: That those above will serve those down below!

LOVETT: (spoken) Now let's see, here... We've got tinker.

TODD: Something... pinker.

LOVETT: Tailor?

TODD: Paler.

LOVETT: Butler?

TODD: Subtler.

LOVETT: Potter?

TODD: Hotter.

LOVETT: Locksmith?

Lovely bit of clerk.

TODD: Maybe for a lark.

LOVETT: Then again there's sweep

If you want it cheap

And you like it dark!

Try the financier,

Peak of his career!

TODD: That looks pretty rank.

LOVETT: Well, he drank,

It's a bank

Cashier.

Never really sold.

Maybe it was old.

TODD: Have you any Beadle?

LOVETT: Next week, so I'm told!

Beadle isn't bad till you smell it and

Notice 'ow well it's been greased...

Stick to priest!

(spoken) Now then, this might be a little bit stringy,

but then of course it's... fiddle player!

TODD: No, this isn't fiddle player -- it's piccolo player!

LOVETT: 'Ow can you tell?

TODD: It's piping hot!

LOVETT: Then blow on it first!

TODD: The history of the world, my sweet --

LOVETT: Oh, Mr. Todd,

Ooh, Mr. Todd,

What does it tell?

TODD: Is who gets eaten, and who gets to eat!

LOVETT: And, Mr. Todd,

Too, Mr. Todd,

Who gets to sell!

TODD: But fortunately, it's also clear

BOTH: That [L: But] ev'rybody goes down well with beer!

LOVETT: (spoken) Since marine doesn't appeal to you, 'ow about... rear admiral?

TODD: Too salty. I prefer general.

LOVETT: With, or without his privates? "With" is extra.

TODD: What is that?

LOVETT: It's fop.

Finest in the shop.

And we have some shepherd's pie peppered

With actual shepherd on top!

And I've just begun --

Here's the politician, so oily

It's served with a doily,

Have one!

TODD: Put it on a bun.

Well, you never know if it's going to run!

LOVETT: Try the friar,

Fried, it's drier!

TODD: No, the clergy is really

Too coarse and too mealy!

LOVETT: Then actor,

That's compacter!

TODD: Yes, and always arrives overdone!

I'll come again when you have JUDGE on the menu!

LOVETT: (spoken) Wait! True, we don't have judge yet,

but we've got something you might fancy even better.

TODD: What's that?

LOVETT: Executioner!

TODD: Have charity towards the world, my pet!

LOVETT: Yes, yes, I know, my love!

TODD: We'll take the customers that we can get!

LOVETT: High-born and low, my love!

TODD: We'll not discriminate great from small!

No, we'll serve anyone,

Meaning anyone,

BOTH: And to anyone

At all!

Another thing that pisses me off

Today I want to rant about my brother. I've never done that before, right? Well, that's because I always feel like a bitch when I do that, but seriously, he's damn annoying. It's like, he brings out the worst in me at times. The men in my family are very capable of doing that.

I also wanted to record what happened, to show what an inconsiderate jerk my brother is, but then I realised that it'd be better if I didn't actually reveal the details of the situation for my own sake more than his, so I have to give a hypothetical situation instead (trying to pertain to the real story as much as possible), so you'd have to forgive me if it isn't as accurate, or rather, if he doesn't seem as inconsiderate & selfish as he really is.

Ok, what happened has to do with the Internet, so I'll just tell a situation that has happened before (just that it didn't make me as angry & upset compared to what really just happened). I just asked for his help to download something? Of course he didn't bother with me. No, one favour is too much too ask, I'm sure.

I know that when people share computers, & the Internet & all that, we have to be tolerant, inconsiderate, bla bla bla. & yes, probably if you knew the full story, you'd be saying that I'm selfish & inconsiderate also (what my father said), but I don't see in what way am I selfish, since I helped if there were any favours anyway.

& this situation is a bit different from downloading, because he didn't have to do a damn thing! He just needed to be patient for a little while, but even that he couldn't do! & he complained that I jammed up the comp because of the program that was running, without even considering how much his stupid game site jammed up the comp in the first place! A classic example of unreasonable people with their irrational thinking.

Anyway, I don't really have much heart to drag this on (it seems that I'm unable to be as long-winded as I once was). That was basically what happened, & I was quite affected by it. & there're lots of other things about him (obviously) that have pissed me off, but I feel it clashing with my blogging ethics (huh, it's funny that I have any) about posting stuff that is considered private (like all these bloody family issues or political issues or religion issues).

So it's better that I stop now before too much damage is done. I guess I wouldn't like to hurt people's feelings? But sometimes they damn deserve it. & my dad has made me happy & also not happy at times, so I feel like I'm in a love-hate relationship with him, but can't help that. What I said in the post about him was also true though, so I'm leaving it for public viewing.

Because it's Halloween

so cute XDD

Love (the soulmate kind)

I've finished my exams (again), so I'm gonna blog as much as I like XD well, more like, as long as I like muahahahaha so be prepared for long-windedness! ;-D

This has been a topic that I've been debating on & off about whether to blog about or not, because I've actually been avoiding this topic, even though I love it so much, & people who know me would know that I can't help talking about it.

Cos let's face it, love is very necessary in this world. Just not the soulmate kind. Well, it's sorta necessary & yet isn't, cos there're people who don't find their soulmates (it's sad), but it's not so bad if you think about it since we were born alone in this world, & we'll die alone anyway (this is where religion comes in, which I would NEVER blog about, just thought I'd let you know that).

Well, maybe rather than love, I like talking about relationships, socialising, that kinda thing XD which is stupid, cos I suck at socialising (seriously, I'm actually rather shy T__T), & I haven't been in those kinda relationships before (don't ask me why >__>).

The funny thing is, I know that last time (like before 16 years old), I've always felt that there was something wrong with me, & I loved the idea of a soulmate too much to even be able to find someone in that way (if you understand what I mean).

As in, I wanted a boyfriend (probably like any other stupid teenage girl) but thank goodness I've grown up now, & it's like the stained glass that I've been viewing through has cracked, so now I'm seeing everything in a different light (well, not everything, I'm just trying to emphasise a point lol).

& it's partly thanks to someone that I've realised that I was in love with the idea of a soulmate, not that I loved anyone that way, & now I'm pretty happy being by myself (until the right one comes along, of course).

So yeah, I'm spilling my guts out just in case there are others like me who've felt the same way. Realise it please!!! ;-P then you wouldn't get into relationships that you would regret. Actually, I know quite a number who have regretted ;-( So I'm not just talking crap, I'm talking about real life people here, & it's advice well worth following ;-)

Anyway, when I said that I like talking about relationships & all that, it's more like I like talking about issues in a relationship, which before this, I've been applying in very general ways. Because most topics apply to general relationships & not pertaining to only those kinds, but in truth, I was thinking about the soulmate kind first, then comparing with any normal relationship (friends, family, that's basically it hahaha).

& although I said that I'll blog about it, because I haven't even talked about anything yet (that's called long-winded lol or also beating around the bush? but I don't consider it to be beating around the bush because I'm not purposely avoiding it, just giving a looonng introduction about it ;-P), so I'm just gonna talk about one aspect of the issues. It is common, applicable & (to me) interesting (actually, I may or may not talk about it, cos if it can be applied to general relationships, then I don't need to purposely blog it in this post, I can make a separate post pertaining to that issue only, & compare the differences when applied to the separate kinds of relationships).

So, what is love? A very hard question, but I like to think of love as a commitment, but it's obviously much more than that. As in, after that when you differentiate the different kinds of love, I find it very strange that love isn't all the same thing. Actually it is, but you can only have one soulmate love, that kinda thing. So it's different to me all the same. & I used to ask my mum countless times (it was hard to not ask), about what's the difference between soulmate love & other love, & it's so hard for me to understand where you draw the line (in the end, I never got a proper answer anyway. & she did say something, but I forgot, so, too bad).

Most people (including me) would prioritise on the attraction part 1st. Which I think is kinda obvious, cos even though I asked my mum that question, I kinda differentiated the soulmate love from the rest that way. That does seem to be the only thing that's different, since you have s** (why do I feel it's vulgar when I say it?!? lol jk, actually it's also cos I think I'll get spam if I put that word there T__T). Unfortunately, people shouldn't adopt this view unless you hardly feel attracted to anyone. Because that's how a lotta people make the wrong decision & assume a soulmate for themselves (or maybe they're just seeking gratituitous pleasure).

Basically, what I knew since young was that the soulmate kind was the kind you'd want to spend the rest of your life with. Sounds kinda heavy? Well, not to me, because I feel that I could tolerate living with someone else. It's just like having a roommate, but I guess it's not exactly the ideal thing people normally think of, whereas I feel quite content about it. Depends on how horrible your roommate is lol

Actually, after writing all that crap, I forgot to emphasise on what soulmate really is. Most people are on the impression that you'd know them when you see them kinda thing (like love at first sight). Sorry, but I don't believe in that. & even if you would sort of know, it's not such a strong feeling like that. More like, when you meet someone, you may feel a "kinship" with them. So it's kinda the same thing.

Anyway, I'm kinda tired, so I'll stop here lol to be more accurate, I've lost the flow cos I got distracted by other stuff (we all know how easy that could be). & yes, I'm sure there're people who disagree with me here & there, or even the whole thing, but that's normal. I didn't say it was an absolute fact or anything. All just my opinion. XD

A driving perspective

I only just realised lately how my way of thinking has changed now that I'm driving.

Supposedly people who drive know when it will be a traffic jam, at which areas & so on. I only know that if I go back later than 5, I'll definitely be slower going back compared to going home earlier. So I try to go back earlier, but sometimes classes prevent me from doing so.

I couldn't help wondering why I didn't notice anything when it was jam when I wasn't driving last time? Obviously it must be because I'm not driving, & it feels so much different driving in a jam compared to sitting in the car in a jam. Both I don't particularly mind, the only difference is that driving is not as relaxing as sitting in the car as a passenger. & my leg sometimes aches (even though my car is not manual)

Also, now that I drive, I start having urges to bang cars & people just because they annoy me. & I'm refraining from saying more because this probably portrays me in a more bad light already. Not that I care. I'm very unfeeling in this kind of circumstances. Especially when seeing some really horrible drivers on the road. Sadly, sometimes I'm a terrible driver too (occasionally!), so I'd understand if someone couldn't stand it & crashed my car or something.

Anyway, I was just kidding about what I said (refer previous paragraph). I'm a nice person (I think?), so I didn't really mean what I said. But it'd be better if we didn't meet on the road cos I WILL PROBABLY KILL YOU. Just kidding haha. Again. Unless you deserve it, then I'd see whether there was a way you'd be punished for whatever you did on the road. You can run but you can't hide. Except if you're the police. Then you're lucky (& I hate you).

Speaking of police, a police car cut into the line at a traffic light today, can you believe that? I don't see why you can't, but it's better not to speak badly about certain people (except in private & in my head, I'm definitely cursing you). And the police car wasn't using the siren or anything, so it should be considered just a normal car. But such is life. C'est la vie (does that make sense? I think I shall be using that phrase more now. It seems to be what I've been saying these days. Better than "never mind", I suppose).

I guess it's kinda funny how someone's perspective would differ depending on whether they're the driver or not. But of course, it'd be better if your perspective didn't change, although it's good to know different perceptions.

I wonder why I always end in this kinda way. But it's hard for me to end another way, so I guess this'll have to do. Maybe it's also cos I don't want to end my posts or something. These days I'm finding it harder to write though. Hopefully I won't get writer's block yet cos I still feel that I have hardly blogged.

Oh ya, public holiday this weekend ^__^ well, only on saturday, but still XD

Vertically Challenged

For those of you who don't know, I'm quite short. I'm just a bit above 5 feet (152 cm). Actually, I'm sure I'm not as short as many other people cos I seem to be a bit below average for an Asian girl at this age (average for me is supposedly around 5 feet 3 inches or 157cm).

But I was remembering how I wanted to grow taller when I was a child (every child seems to want that though lol). & I remember how many times I cried because I wasn't tall enough (it sounds stupid when I say it somehow).

If you're wondering why I cried, it's actually because I didn't grow up fast enough, & at the age when kids wanted to play this, & ride that, I was unable to because I didn't meet the bloody height requirement. & I remember looking up at the stupid requirement & think "I must definitely be that tall". Which happened to be 5 feet, so that's what I aimed for, & got lol

I think probably after that was when this height issue ceased to be so important, & I hardly think about it anymore now. What I'm occupied with (which most women would be occupied with) is my weight & fat, & I wish that one day I wouldn't have to bother with all these things, but I'm not sure whether that day would ever come.

Actually I wanted to write about all the times I sort of suffered (if you could it that) for being short. So that other people would know how short people feel like. But I can't really think of anything to say, except that I did get teased quite a lot for being short. & you can't stop people from being teased, it'll happen all the time. So that's too bad.

But if someone could see from a short person's point of view, that'd be great. But I doubt anyone could see anything from my post ^^;