Unselfishness was one of the first few things I remembered learning. Actually, it was also one of the hardest things for me to apply, because I used to be very selfish & self-centred. Which is why I was called "spoilt brat" a lot.
The funny thing is that now I'm less selfish, but my own family wouldn't even realise that (specifically one person), because they'd think that I never change bla bla bla & then they complain about me being nicer to my friends than family (which they've been saying since I was young anyway, & lots of other people feel say that too). But it's a bit harder to be nicer to my family when they seem to expect the worst from me sometimes.
Anyway, in one of my attempts to be a better person & be more unselfish (if I was ever unselfish last time), I couldn't help thinking, if I'm unselfish, & usually being unselfish implies some sort of sacrifice on your own part for someone else, then isn't the other person being selfish? A common example would be in a game of baseball/basketball/football/badminton (doubles)/tennis (doubles) & most other ball games (but not for table tennis doubles because you take turns to hit the ball anyway lol), the 1st person will say "You take it (supposedly being unselfish, but that person could be avoiding something possibly tedious or inconvenient)," & the other person would say "Oh no, YOU take it" & the ball will end up in the middle, something like that (it's shown in quite a number of movies too).
To me, unselfishness could be in the form of sacrificing something tangible or intangible. For me, it started with food. It was hard for me to give something I liked to eat to someone else, cos at that time I hardly ate much. Unfortunately, probably the reason why I don't mind doing so anymore is because I eat so much now T_T but ignore that lol which is why it applies to games also, because it is not easy for anyone to have a chance to play, especially when so many people wanna play.
Unselfishness is also linked with consideration for other people, but then again, I think all these values should link to one another in some way or other. & technically, I guess you could say that the other person (if it was direct & not indirect) couldn't be called selfish either, because it's only right that they should accept the 1st person's unselfishness gracefully & thank the person for it.
I hope I made sense, but if not, never mind. I usually wouldn't like to talk about this kinda topic (as in, values & all, since I hate moral lessons, but that was for a different reason lol) but it was just something that I thought about since young, & I'd tell my mum about it (I think I was trying to defend my selfishness lol), so I wonder whether anyone ever thought it from that perspective. Maybe it depends whether you were a selfish person more or unselfish person more. ;-P
Friday, August 28, 2009
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Blackmore's Night
This is the 1st time I'm recommending a band ;-) & normally I don't like to put their picture because I feel it causes people to be biased or prejudiced. But then I thought it'd look nicer having a picture in the post rather than none, to introduce them, & I was looking for something that would give me the feel of blackmore's night. This was the closest to what I felt lol
They're a band specialising in the medieval kind of music. If you really want to know more, you can always search for it in wikipedia.
I recommend Ghost Of A Rose & Under A Violet Moon ^__^ I'd be very happy if you listened to it & told me what you thought, but the thoughts are not necessary because I don't have much opinion to voice out either other than the fact that it's nice & I like it lol
the guitar playing is good though, for those who appreciate it... & their style is pretty much the same if you listen to more of their songs, but I'm the kind of person who'd like a style, so if I like a certain artist, I tend to listen to all or most of their songs if their style doesn't change ;-D
my dad called me old for liking this group lol cos at their concerts, only older people attend (range from middle age to elderly). I couldn't think of anything to say in my defense haih
you see, because of my different taste in music, I wouldn't think of recommending any songs or people that I listen to, because I doubt that other people will like it, so there wouldn't be any point in recommending. but the few previous posts that I have done (I only remember two, one is gackt & the other is hyde lol) is more like a declaration of how strong my feelings were, & in a way, how much of a fan I am because of that.but I have quite strong feelings about this group too, when listening to their songs, & I felt the need to recommend them ;-P
& yes, my taste is different, once again, but I'd call this good music whereas the other music that I listen to which I enjoy, I wouldn't have the confidence of calling it good, I'd just say it's not bad, but then again, I'm not the kind to compliment ^^; so you know what it means when I'm complimenting this group ;-P but actually, it's again because of my father, if he didn't listen to it, I wouldn't have heard the songs at the same time, & because he thinks all the music (or most of it) that he listens to are good music, that's why I wouldn't hesitate to call it good, based on what he says ;-) but the reason why he says that the music he listens to are good is because lots (& I mean lots) of people love it, & they're normally the best selling famous songs.
This group is a bit unknown though, but well known in other parts also, so I thought I'd share ;-D hope you like it!
PS: btw, my results came out edi ;-( I failed 1 paper again, but at least it's not the same bloody paper anymore yay! lol
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Extract from 'Charlie and the Chocolate Factory'
Did I ever mention that I like to read storybooks? Well, I do, it's just that I never bothered to mention it, also because I read a lot less the past few years ;-( & because I started reading chic lit, but the feeling I get when I read chic lit & other stories are different. Which is why I purposely read chic lit, but I'm not gonna elaborate on that.
& the reason why I never mention to anyone (generally) that I like reading is because I don't think people would associate me with reading, which is fine, & also because I don't know many people who enjoy reading. So because we obviously don't share that same interest, there's no need for me to mention it. The same reason why I don't mention my other interests that are not typical.
But because I've been highly influenced by my friend, who loves phrases & extracts, I decided to post an extract that has made a great impact on me since I read it.
XD I <3 this kind of rhymes, but of course that's not the only thing I liked about Roald Dahl, but his rhymes did make me laugh. Even now, they put a smile on my face ;-)
I hope to post more extracts next time ^__^
& the reason why I never mention to anyone (generally) that I like reading is because I don't think people would associate me with reading, which is fine, & also because I don't know many people who enjoy reading. So because we obviously don't share that same interest, there's no need for me to mention it. The same reason why I don't mention my other interests that are not typical.
But because I've been highly influenced by my friend, who loves phrases & extracts, I decided to post an extract that has made a great impact on me since I read it.
'The most important thing we've learned,
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set —
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotized by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink —
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!
"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,
"But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children! Please explain!"
We'll answer this by asking you,
"What used the darling ones to do?
How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?"
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY . . . USED TO . . . READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and —
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole —
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks —
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean.
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't — it serves him right.'
So far as children are concerned,
Is never, NEVER, NEVER let
Them near your television set —
Or better still, just don't install
The idiotic thing at all.
In almost every house we've been,
We've watched them gaping at the screen.
They loll and slop and lounge about,
And stare until their eyes pop out.
(Last week in someone's place we saw
A dozen eyeballs on the floor.)
They sit and stare and stare and sit
Until they're hypnotized by it,
Until they're absolutely drunk
With all that shocking ghastly junk.
Oh yes, we know it keeps them still,
They don't climb out the window sill,
They never fight or kick or punch,
They leave you free to cook the lunch
And wash the dishes in the sink —
But did you ever stop to think,
To wonder just exactly what
This does to your beloved tot?
IT ROTS THE SENSES IN THE HEAD!
IT KILLS IMAGINATION DEAD!
IT CLOGS AND CLUTTERS UP THE MIND!
IT MAKES A CHILD SO DULL AND BLIND
HE CAN NO LONGER UNDERSTAND
A FANTASY, A FAIRYLAND!
HIS BRAIN BECOMES AS SOFT AS CHEESE!
HIS POWERS OF THINKING RUST AND FREEZE!
HE CANNOT THINK — HE ONLY SEES!
"All right!" you'll cry. "All right!" you'll say,
"But if we take the set away,
What shall we do to entertain
Our darling children! Please explain!"
We'll answer this by asking you,
"What used the darling ones to do?
How used they keep themselves contented
Before this monster was invented?"
Have you forgotten? Don't you know?
We'll say it very loud and slow:
THEY . . . USED TO . . . READ! They'd READ and READ,
AND READ and READ, and then proceed
TO READ some more. Great Scott! Gadzooks!
One half their lives was reading books!
The nursery shelves held books galore!
Books cluttered up the nursery floor!
And in the bedroom, by the bed,
More books were waiting to be read!
Such wondrous, fine, fantastic tales
Of dragons, gypsies, queens, and whales
And treasure isles, and distant shores
Where smugglers rowed with muffled oars,
And pirates wearing purple pants,
And sailing ships and elephants,
And cannibals crouching round the pot,
Stirring away at something hot.
(It smells so good, what can it be?
Good gracious, it's Penelope.)
The younger ones had Beatrix Potter
With Mr Tod, the dirty rotter,
And Squirrel Nutkin, Pigling Bland,
And Mrs Tiggy-Winkle and —
Just How The Camel Got His Hump,
And How The Monkey Lost His Rump,
And Mr Toad, and bless my soul,
There's Mr Rat and Mr Mole —
Oh, books, what books they used to know,
Those children living long ago!
So please, oh please, we beg, we pray,
Go throw your TV set away,
And in its place you can install
A lovely bookshelf on the wall.
Then fill the shelves with lots of books,
Ignoring all the dirty looks,
The screams and yells, the bites and kicks,
And children hitting you with sticks —
Fear not, because we promise you
That, in about a week or two
Of having nothing else to do,
They'll now begin to feel the need
Of having something good to read.
And once they start — oh boy, oh boy!
You watch the slowly growing joy
That fills their hearts. They'll grow so keen
They'll wonder what they'd ever seen
In that ridiculous machine,
That nauseating, foul, unclean.
Repulsive television screen!
And later, each and every kid
Will love you more for what you did.
P.S. Regarding Mike Teavee,
We very much regret that we
Shall simply have to wait and see
If we can get him back his height.
But if we can't — it serves him right.'
XD I <3 this kind of rhymes, but of course that's not the only thing I liked about Roald Dahl, but his rhymes did make me laugh. Even now, they put a smile on my face ;-)
I hope to post more extracts next time ^__^
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Kuching, Sarawak
It was my 1st time to ever set foot in East Malaysia lol ;-D
It felt like a small town (it is, I think), & I think it's obviously more quiet & peaceful there than here.
It was horribly hot for me though >_> It felt like it couldn't get any hotter than that, but I know that's not true, & there are much hotter places around, but really, it's like the sun was beating down on us T_T only during the afternoons though, it's quite cool during the nights & mornings (nice breeze ^__^).
It seems there's only kolo mee there most of the time, & hardly much else ^^; But that's regarding food. Although it's recommended for people trying to diet, especially for fussy people like me, because there's nothing much to eat (as in, the variety), & because you'd rather not eat sometimes ;-P
Regarding other things, there's probably not much else too lol no nightlife, everyone sleeps early, but then, so do I, so it's not really a problem... not as early as when the shops close, which were like, 8??? But I'm the kind of person who'd be happy at home with a book or a computer (preferably online, but not necessary), so of course I didn't mind the fact that there was no nightlife ;-)
Oh, if you go there, you'd notice that there are A LOT of cafes around (but actually, they're just coffee shops like the ones here). I only can remember Friendship Cafe & Palm Cafe, cos Palm cafe was the nearest to where we stayed, & we ate there twice, & friendship cafe because it reminded me of the Friendster cafe in Sunway Pyramid, which I always thought was such a stupid name that obviously lacks creativity since it only opened way after friendster.com itself. There was one called Thompson's Corner (didn't end with cafe at least, but it was another coffee shop). I liked the way his display looked cos it looked like it was comic sans lol oh! there was tarot cafe there too XDD always quite a lotta people whenever we passed it. For those who don't know, there's a comic series called The Tarot Cafe which I <3 ^__^
no, it's not a jet plane, it's a boat lol
the boats used for the race (not the one just now, that was probably just for display)
how the riverside looks ^__^
one of the most beautiful buildings in, I don't remember, Asia? I think it's a government building of some sort, excuse me for forgetting these trivial details ;-P
It felt like a small town (it is, I think), & I think it's obviously more quiet & peaceful there than here.
It was horribly hot for me though >_> It felt like it couldn't get any hotter than that, but I know that's not true, & there are much hotter places around, but really, it's like the sun was beating down on us T_T only during the afternoons though, it's quite cool during the nights & mornings (nice breeze ^__^).
It seems there's only kolo mee there most of the time, & hardly much else ^^; But that's regarding food. Although it's recommended for people trying to diet, especially for fussy people like me, because there's nothing much to eat (as in, the variety), & because you'd rather not eat sometimes ;-P
Regarding other things, there's probably not much else too lol no nightlife, everyone sleeps early, but then, so do I, so it's not really a problem... not as early as when the shops close, which were like, 8??? But I'm the kind of person who'd be happy at home with a book or a computer (preferably online, but not necessary), so of course I didn't mind the fact that there was no nightlife ;-)
Oh, if you go there, you'd notice that there are A LOT of cafes around (but actually, they're just coffee shops like the ones here). I only can remember Friendship Cafe & Palm Cafe, cos Palm cafe was the nearest to where we stayed, & we ate there twice, & friendship cafe because it reminded me of the Friendster cafe in Sunway Pyramid, which I always thought was such a stupid name that obviously lacks creativity since it only opened way after friendster.com itself. There was one called Thompson's Corner (didn't end with cafe at least, but it was another coffee shop). I liked the way his display looked cos it looked like it was comic sans lol oh! there was tarot cafe there too XDD always quite a lotta people whenever we passed it. For those who don't know, there's a comic series called The Tarot Cafe which I <3 ^__^
no, it's not a jet plane, it's a boat lol
the boats used for the race (not the one just now, that was probably just for display)
how the riverside looks ^__^
one of the most beautiful buildings in, I don't remember, Asia? I think it's a government building of some sort, excuse me for forgetting these trivial details ;-P
Friday, July 31, 2009
The way to become deaf
... or at least, one of the ways.
1. Must have some sort of noisy presence (which is either irritating or distracting or disturbing).
2. The noise lasts for quite a while (could be pretty long), prompting you to ignore the noise by listening to your ipod/mp3 player.
3. Blast your ears off trying to shut off the background noise, even if it gives you a headache cos it's so hard for the music to actually be louder than the noise.
4. 1-3 repeats, & after a certain amount of repetition, the level of deafness would continue to half-deaf, & finally fully deaf.
Indicators of deafness increasing: If you were listening at xx volume & you felt it was loud, & the next time you listened at the same volume it didn't feel loud enough, you're well on your way.
I think getting deaf is hardly a choice for me, because of all the noise around me T____T
1. Must have some sort of noisy presence (which is either irritating or distracting or disturbing).
2. The noise lasts for quite a while (could be pretty long), prompting you to ignore the noise by listening to your ipod/mp3 player.
3. Blast your ears off trying to shut off the background noise, even if it gives you a headache cos it's so hard for the music to actually be louder than the noise.
4. 1-3 repeats, & after a certain amount of repetition, the level of deafness would continue to half-deaf, & finally fully deaf.
Indicators of deafness increasing: If you were listening at xx volume & you felt it was loud, & the next time you listened at the same volume it didn't feel loud enough, you're well on your way.
I think getting deaf is hardly a choice for me, because of all the noise around me T____T
That day in the showers
I've wanted to write about this, but I keep on changing my mind lol cos it doesn't feel like such a good thing, to write about oneself in the showers ^^; but I figured that it'd be fine, cos it's not like "oh, I showered, & I put this kinda shampoo, & that kinda soap, & I'm all clean & fuzzy now!" T___T
no, it's more like what happened at that time o_O;;
hahaha anyway, it'll be short, I promise ;-)
you see, the thing about Malaysia is that its season never changes ;-( which means that it's hot & humid all year around, & depending where you live, it either rains a lot, or rains less, it rains a lot at most places (as in, it has its rainy seasons).
so the thing about rainy weather is you tend to get a lot of insects & other creatures breeding because of the weather & the water
do you see where I'm heading? ;-P
well, for the bathroom in my house, although I've gotten sorta used to the insects that are in the bathtub, but thinking about it, it's just weird & I seriously wonder where they come from & why did they only appear later on in my life (it's not like the appeared since we bought the house, it was quite a number of years after that). But there could be lots of reasons for that.
Anyway, that's not the point, but all I'll say is, for some reason, occasionally there are cockroaches (which I'm scared of & I hate), & centipedes (HUGE ones, I'm not kidding >_>). The centipedes are the weird insects rather than cockroaches (cos cockroaches seem to be everywhere, not only the bathroom), & seriously, I get freaked out everytime I see one because it's like a surprise attack on me (I wear glasses, but obviously not when I bathe, so I'm pretty blind without them, so how am I supposed to see the bloody centipedes?!?!?!? not until they're too close for my liking T_T)
I still haven't wrote about that day wth?? Sorry, so what happened is that on that day, it was a bit weird, but not as bad as cockroaches & centipedes at least, so it was juz very irritating & annoying instead.
I was attacked by mosquitoes lol
Ok, that's not what happened exactly, but there were a LOT of mosquitoes in the bathroom that day. I have no idea why. The only possible reason that I thought of was that it may have been because of the rainy weather (still just an excuse tho).
So I spent a longer time in the bathroom that day, mainly killing mosquitoes & hardly focusing on bathing. I think I killed more than 20 that day lol seriously, I'm not kidding. The easiest way to kill mosquitoes is to wait for those stupid insects to hover/fly at a certain distance from the wall before you hit them XD
It was fun but tiring hahahaha hope this didn't freak/creep anyone out ;-P
no, it's more like what happened at that time o_O;;
hahaha anyway, it'll be short, I promise ;-)
you see, the thing about Malaysia is that its season never changes ;-( which means that it's hot & humid all year around, & depending where you live, it either rains a lot, or rains less, it rains a lot at most places (as in, it has its rainy seasons).
so the thing about rainy weather is you tend to get a lot of insects & other creatures breeding because of the weather & the water
do you see where I'm heading? ;-P
well, for the bathroom in my house, although I've gotten sorta used to the insects that are in the bathtub, but thinking about it, it's just weird & I seriously wonder where they come from & why did they only appear later on in my life (it's not like the appeared since we bought the house, it was quite a number of years after that). But there could be lots of reasons for that.
Anyway, that's not the point, but all I'll say is, for some reason, occasionally there are cockroaches (which I'm scared of & I hate), & centipedes (HUGE ones, I'm not kidding >_>). The centipedes are the weird insects rather than cockroaches (cos cockroaches seem to be everywhere, not only the bathroom), & seriously, I get freaked out everytime I see one because it's like a surprise attack on me (I wear glasses, but obviously not when I bathe, so I'm pretty blind without them, so how am I supposed to see the bloody centipedes?!?!?!? not until they're too close for my liking T_T)
I still haven't wrote about that day wth?? Sorry, so what happened is that on that day, it was a bit weird, but not as bad as cockroaches & centipedes at least, so it was juz very irritating & annoying instead.
I was attacked by mosquitoes lol
Ok, that's not what happened exactly, but there were a LOT of mosquitoes in the bathroom that day. I have no idea why. The only possible reason that I thought of was that it may have been because of the rainy weather (still just an excuse tho).
So I spent a longer time in the bathroom that day, mainly killing mosquitoes & hardly focusing on bathing. I think I killed more than 20 that day lol seriously, I'm not kidding. The easiest way to kill mosquitoes is to wait for those stupid insects to hover/fly at a certain distance from the wall before you hit them XD
It was fun but tiring hahahaha hope this didn't freak/creep anyone out ;-P
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Paranoia
My classes started this week ;-(
The 1st week is always easier, & yet harder at the same time for me. Easier because the pace of the lessons is still compared to the future lessons, & harder because my brain is a bit sluggish after the holidays, & still not geared in study mode yet ^^;
I normally go to college around 7.20am because my classes start at 8. So I'd wake up much earlier because I don't like being sleepy in class, & I can be properly awake before I go to college. So I'd wake up around 6 something. That's how much time I take to wake up lol
Yesterday, I woke up in a very blurred state. Which is actually normal for me, & I was still half-asleep in my dream. & I kept tossing & turning in a very sleepy way, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, I must get up soon or else I'd oversleep (my normal thought process to get out of bed).
I managed to stumble out of bed (also normal) & headed to the toilet. On my way, I suddenly realised how dark it was around the house. To be more specific, I took notice of the fact that there was no light downstairs. This may not be of significance to other people, but to me it was, even in my sleepy state.
You see, at 6 something, my mum would have already left for work, & the light would be on downstairs. So, although it could be that my mum wasn't working, or that she forgot to switch on the light, but I had a nasty suspicion that it's not even 6 something (all this I was thinking through very slowly in my head. If you were there, you'd probably see my brain slowly moving)
So I looked at my handphone. & it was 2am =__= & I went to bed at 11 something, so it's funny that I actually thought I slept enough for the night
So I went back to sleep haha
The thing is, this wasn't the first time I experienced this. In my school days, I experienced it once too, & after that, I'd always check the time after I woke up before I actually got out of bed (I still do), but of course, we're all human, so at times I forget.
But I realised I was strange in this aspect, because I tend to wake up earlier before the alarm rings after a while of waking up at the same time every day. Like my dad actually. He wakes up around the same time every morning too. So I still think it's partly caused by my genes.
The other part is that I can't seem to stand being waken up, so much that I wake up before the time I'm supposed to wake up. At first, it was my dad waking me up, & I thought it was because of that, but when I started using an alarm clock (& now, my handphone alarm), I realised that it was the same thing, & I do sorta hate the alarm clock waking me up. But I don't mind my handphone alarm so much (cos I can play a nice song to wake me up). So I came to the conclusion that I just can't stand being woken up so much that I wake up earlier myself, voluntarily (in a way).
& occasionally for me, I wake up a few times in one night, thinking it's time to wake up, & realising that it's still too early. I think it's because I'm somehow paranoid that I'd oversleep, although I actually only overslept once in my entire life, & that was in Form 3, & my dad overslept too, so that's why he didn't wake me up. Talk about coincidences.
That's all I wanted to say. Feels kinda abrupt, but I'm not good at ending what I say, & probably that's also why I keep going on & on sometimes lol
The 1st week is always easier, & yet harder at the same time for me. Easier because the pace of the lessons is still compared to the future lessons, & harder because my brain is a bit sluggish after the holidays, & still not geared in study mode yet ^^;
I normally go to college around 7.20am because my classes start at 8. So I'd wake up much earlier because I don't like being sleepy in class, & I can be properly awake before I go to college. So I'd wake up around 6 something. That's how much time I take to wake up lol
Yesterday, I woke up in a very blurred state. Which is actually normal for me, & I was still half-asleep in my dream. & I kept tossing & turning in a very sleepy way, but in the back of my mind I was thinking, I must get up soon or else I'd oversleep (my normal thought process to get out of bed).
I managed to stumble out of bed (also normal) & headed to the toilet. On my way, I suddenly realised how dark it was around the house. To be more specific, I took notice of the fact that there was no light downstairs. This may not be of significance to other people, but to me it was, even in my sleepy state.
You see, at 6 something, my mum would have already left for work, & the light would be on downstairs. So, although it could be that my mum wasn't working, or that she forgot to switch on the light, but I had a nasty suspicion that it's not even 6 something (all this I was thinking through very slowly in my head. If you were there, you'd probably see my brain slowly moving)
So I looked at my handphone. & it was 2am =__= & I went to bed at 11 something, so it's funny that I actually thought I slept enough for the night
So I went back to sleep haha
The thing is, this wasn't the first time I experienced this. In my school days, I experienced it once too, & after that, I'd always check the time after I woke up before I actually got out of bed (I still do), but of course, we're all human, so at times I forget.
But I realised I was strange in this aspect, because I tend to wake up earlier before the alarm rings after a while of waking up at the same time every day. Like my dad actually. He wakes up around the same time every morning too. So I still think it's partly caused by my genes.
The other part is that I can't seem to stand being waken up, so much that I wake up before the time I'm supposed to wake up. At first, it was my dad waking me up, & I thought it was because of that, but when I started using an alarm clock (& now, my handphone alarm), I realised that it was the same thing, & I do sorta hate the alarm clock waking me up. But I don't mind my handphone alarm so much (cos I can play a nice song to wake me up). So I came to the conclusion that I just can't stand being woken up so much that I wake up earlier myself, voluntarily (in a way).
& occasionally for me, I wake up a few times in one night, thinking it's time to wake up, & realising that it's still too early. I think it's because I'm somehow paranoid that I'd oversleep, although I actually only overslept once in my entire life, & that was in Form 3, & my dad overslept too, so that's why he didn't wake me up. Talk about coincidences.
That's all I wanted to say. Feels kinda abrupt, but I'm not good at ending what I say, & probably that's also why I keep going on & on sometimes lol
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