Last post ever?

Hi, I'm sorry again for not posting so long. I wanted to post this earlier but I couldn't bring myself to do it, because I knew I'd take a while & I didn't want to do it when I'm studying for exams ;-(

in the end I didn't do so well for my 2nd exam, so maybe all my efforts were for nothing. AGAIN. ah well, c'est la vie =_=

so, what I wanted to say was that unfortunately, I've grown tired of blogging (or rather, even more lazy) & I've no inspiration to think of new topics, so I feel that I should stop blogging. also because I'm going to focus (at least, try to) on writing, which is why I don't really need to blog anymore, since last time my reason to blog was more an avenue for me to write. But this is like my informal style of writing where I don't have to care about whether the sentence structure is wrong or anything (I can't stand wrong grammar though).

of course, if there is ever anything I feel like writing & sharing about, I'll blog again, but for now, don't expect posts for a super long time.

Au revoir

A new addition to the family!

Happy Halloween! I had something to say that was way overdue, but better late than never ;-) & it kinda fits with the halloween theme lol







aren't they cute? ^__^ lol I'm sure many would disagree, but anyway, they're in our house. No, I don't mean like literally in the house, but they're in the territory anyway.

they're bats, in case it's not obvious. dunno how they came to find that spot at our house, but they seem to like it, so they stay there most of the time. if we go there & make noise or sth, then they'll normally fly away, but they still come back lol not that i mind, cos they seem harmless, just... stuff on the floor, understandable ^^;

altho i kinda find them cute, i can't help feeling a little creeped out, cos whenever i look at them, it's like they're staring right back at me, but they're BLIND. so wth are they staring at? >_> suddenly i'm wondering what's the point of having eyes if they're blind but nvm ^^;

seems that they've been MIA lately cos a cat's been sitting on my bro's car (which is parked quite near that place). stupid cat T_T

also it seems that one of them has a baby! argh so darn cute! <3

Lasting friends

I was thinking about this lately, because I've met some new people online. Those usually don't last lol not that I really mind, but I sometimes wonder at those who make lasting friendship with people whom they have never met, & probably will never meet. Rather than wonder, I suppose I envied that, but there's no point in envying, but I suppose I was always a bit of a dog in the manger ^^;

it's also that although I didn't think I had low self-esteem, but I suppose I did, & it hasn't completely gone away, because I sometimes wonder, why are people still with me? I'm so boring, & I'm not very nice blah blah blah... that kind of thought just happened to pop in my head recently, although I know I probably thought about this a lot more in school.

that thought caused me to adopt a sort of submissive agreeing attitude with strangers. Sometimes I still fall into this habit subconsciously. But is it so wrong to want to make sure that I'm liked? Although that's not really a guarantee that I'll be liked, but I just didn't want to be like my old self last time - a bit like a tyrant lol; demanding, selfish, self-centred, inflexible, cruel (maybe not that cruel). it's not like I've changed that much, but if anything, I think I suppressed some of the negative aspects.

usually, when I meet people online, we're chatting about something in particular. so naturally, when that topic has been exhausted, we stop chatting because we run out of topics. then we go on with our usual life.

this is a weird post, because it's still self-centred, & I'm still thinking about myself, but maybe this applies to other people also. or maybe not. I was thinking about what I did, because for some reason it's as though I was scared that I'll be hated or that I wouldn't be liked anymore. now it makes me think that I sound like I'm seriously in love with the person or something =_= but actually this applies to me in general, I'm sure there're people who feel this way too

thank goodness I don't feel that way around my family, cos they're stuck with me for LIFE ;-P but then that's what my parents complain about, that I act nice with other people & I'm grumpy with them. Sounds like they too want me to be fake and insincere & put up a front T_T but I know (at least, I think) that they don't mean it (either way, I think I'm not bothered to be fake at home as well ^^;)

I'm not saying that I'm fake with everybody else! o_O wth am I saying lol maybe I was a little fake at times, but it was just a subconscious thing, honest ;-)

now that I remembered, or realised, that my friends won't suddenly stop liking me or hanging out with me or hate me because of anything I may so or do, I feel much more relaxed, & I think I can say things more honestly now ;-D

but actually, even today, I kinda did it again ^^; oh well, some things are hard to change. actually, I think I do it with my family too, but much less. It depends on whether the other party gets easily irritated or angry or annoyed, I think. if not, then it's probably me getting annoyed at you ;-P crap, now I'm feeling guilty again

oh well, hooray for lasting friends! ;-) I have... at least 5 very good friends (I think), not counting one good friend online (my friend of the future? or was it past lol). actually it's hard to say because even if I think I have a good friend, if they don't think the same way, then I think it's not counted, you know? ^^;

それじゃ,　また　ね～ ;-)

translated: something like, "well, until next time~" ;-P

PS: if you use google translate, it's even worse than my translation hahahaha @_@

Heart no Kuni no Alice obsession

Have you ever been obsessed about anything?

I mean like, really obsessed.

I've forgotten just how strong an obsession/addiction could be. It's like, I could hardly concentrate or do anything because my mind was occupied with it. Kinda like how people in love feel like. But when I say love I mean more of the story I hear about not being able to concentrate on their studies cos they can't stop thinking about someone else, & that was why we weren't supposed to have relationships in school lol stupid story.

Not that it isn't true, it's just that there are people who can concentrate on studies AND have relationships, so... yeah. I got distracted lol sorry. Where was I? About how obsessed I was.

I think the last thing I was really obsessed about was L'Arc~en~Ciel. This time I'm obsessed with a story. It started with a manga. Then I found out the manga was based from a game. But the thing about stories based on games is that depending on how it is written/drawn, it can turn out better than the game. For me, this manga did.

The thing is, the manga was incomplete, which was probably what made me feel more obsessed about it. Normally, when I read a book, see a movie, or even a drama, I wouldn't normally feel so obsessed about it because, in my opinion, they're complete. If they're incomplete, that's where all the obsession starts. I mean, those complete things that I was obsessed about, the obsession only lasted a while, & not as strong. Well, the obsession on incomplete things lasted a while & usually died down too, but it made me very emotional.

So this time, I was super emotional after reading the manga. I felt so obsessed that I decided to look for fanfic on it. That's how I found out about the game. When the thought entered my head that I could play the game, that's kinda when I felt overwhelmed & super happy & it's like I got more obsessed than before.

Then, when I had problems installing the game, and the thought entered my head that I may not be able to play the game after all, I felt like something in me died inside. Seriously, it felt horrible. T_T although this obsession made me feel very happy, it also made me feel like shit. Thinking back about it, I definitely do not want to go through this again. Mild obsessions suit me just fine, thank you very much =_=

But my obsession was short-lived, thankfully. Er, 6 days after I started reading the manga, 3 days after I found out about the game. So I finished reading what little of the manga in 3 days lol. It kinda ended before I even installed the game. But this is kinda like a happy ending to my story ;-) I managed to install AND play the game XDD & I'm still at the beginning lol I'm going to play it quite slowly (or rather, as slowly I can manage, because games are addictive, & once I start I find it hard to stop).

Sorry but I didn't really talk about what my obsession is really all about (other than the fact that it's a manga & game). But I'm like that, so get used to it (sorry). It's about Alice in Wonderland! ^__^ but an alternate version. A version where... but I'm not gonna say anymore, you'll have to try finding out yourself if you're curious ;-P

If you're annoyed & wonder why I'm not bothering to say more about this story, well, it's because I find the story a bit embarrassing (but AWESOME lol), so I'd rather not go on & on about it, or else I would've gone on about lots of great anime & manga long ago.

It's like me saying, "Oh, I love that movie, that scene was so touching!" But actually what I liked about it was something totally different. Not that I didn't find the scene touching, but it's like the 3rd or 4th priority in my mind. But if you find out what this manga is about, you'll probably find out immediately, or even not, you'll think that's what I like >_> so dun bother finding out. please. it's a nice story, let's just leave it at that lol

anyway, I thought I'd put pics of what I was so crazy about ^__^ still am mildly obsessed with it now...

mad hatter's place. lots of teapots ;-D

Queen of Hearts residence ^^

& some of the characters... ;-) this is actually the 1st vol cover of the manga. new character, alice, the rabbit (you can see the ears) & the queen of hearts

PS: btw, it's the 1st game that I actually installed & played by myself. Of course, I had help from my father, but most of the things I had to figure out for myself. It was damn hard, you know T_T but then I'm ignorant about a lotta things, esp games, so maybe that's why I found it hard. anyway, just letting off a bit of steam ;-)

Venice

I never really thought of myself as irresponsible, but since I neglected my blog for a while, it made me feel like I was shirking my duties or something. So I put in a little bit more effort (cos I felt guilty lol) to post about Venice. But my effort was actually mostly expended in uploading photos ^^; not in writing, or creative ideas. I feel so lousy haih... but at least these pictures would make people happy! at least, I should think so... ^^;

although it would seem odd to see people dressed up this way usually, but it so happened that that was the last day of the masquerading, so it was AWESOME XD

of course, in Venice, one must always admire the canals

the girl in purple is posing for photos, just in case you weren't aware. and that puppet being held up is real, cos the puppet moved lol

the buildings in venice are very nice too, but I was more focused on the people ;-P

so many ppl. but i didn't mind XD in this case, the more the merrier ^__^ except maybe for a few parts when my family sorta split up unintentionally (cos we all got distracted lol) & it was horrible trying to find each other >_>

gondolas! XD didn't sit on it tho ;-( cos it would've taken up quite a bit of time, and my family felt that it would be better to walk around rather than just sitting in a gondola. which was fine, since it was really fun and cool seeing lots of people dressed up ^^

I'll probably never forget this woman. I took a picture with her, and she gave me a card after that advertising a couture shop

to me, this fellow has some charm XD

reminded me of the three musketeers

this pic is a bit blur, but most of my pics were rather spontaneous, cos they move around constantly, so I'm quite happy I got a close picture of him ^^

I took this pic because he reminded me of Heath Ledger lol XD he even acted a bit like him too. when he saw me taking pic, he did some funny antics at me ;-D

well, that's all for now. I hope to blog again soon... if I'm up to it ^^;

My table, dog and food

I said that I was cleaning my room and rearranging stuff right? well, I still haven't really finished cleaning my room ^^; I don't know why I keep procrastinating like it, cos I don't really mind doing it, & yet, I just don't feel like doing it, so it never gets done. And I sorta arranged 50% of it, and I felt so satisfied that I forgot about arranging the remaining mess (cos it didn't seem so important anymore).

but anyway, I thought I'd show you a glimpse of the mess ;-D

ipod ^__^ and more DVDs and most of my chargers lol

well, I sorta cleaned up my table, but it probably still looks as messy as ever, but in my eyes, it's much less messy. just a number of papers scattered about on my table, & my DVDs are still there, cos I haven't thought of a place to put it other than on the table which would be the most convenient for me... probably that's another reason why I haven't thoroughly finished arranging my room, cos I have some loose ends here and there, which I'm not sure where to keep or display ^^;



another thing that I've wanted to blog about for quite a while is my dog, and I thought I'd make a separate post of him, but I changed my mind, cos I don't have that much to say about him T_T

I don't look after my dog very well, and I'm not the kind to mention my dog in conversations, so people either think that I don't like my dog, or that I don't care about it. well, I don't care what other people think about me regarding my dog. I love my dog in my own way, and I'm aware that what I may say or do may not be considered as loving my dog, but that's the way I am.

Kinda like the way people love each other, now that I think about it. Nobody's a perfect lover, or even a good one. But that doesn't mean they aren't happy together. Not that I'm saying that my dog is happy with me as an owner lol.

I'd rather not be the owner either actually, since I get sneered for it in my own family (because I don't look after it properly), but if me being the owner in name would let my dad buy a dog for the family, I was willing to do it. Partly for myself also, cos at that time when we bought this dog, it was like one year after our first dog died, so we (including me) were all a bit sad without a dog.

his name is Blackmore. And normally you can't see much cos he's all black lol except his tongue of course. it's funny at night, cos if it's dark and the lights are off, at the most, you just see a black mound or something hahaha

this is one of his expressions that I love XD he has this expression on either when he looks guilty, or when he wants to be petted. if there's one thing that I know of about Blackmore, it's his expressions. But probably many dog owners would know their own dog's many expressions.

I forgot to mention that I was spending my time also learning how to cook. I took some pics, but lots were blur, so I'm not gonna show my lousy photography skills here ;-P but these 2 pics are ok, i think...

I really dislike vege. But I still have to learn to cook it. And it's actually the easiest dish to cook (other than rice of course lol).

the finished product. I've come to the conclusion that if not most Chinese cooking, then most of the Chinese cooking that my family eats all have garlic in it. Nearly everything that is cooked starts with the oil, then garlic.

And I thought salt was the essential ingredient that people took for granted lol

Charlie Chaplin

I said I'll post more about a certain singer, right? well, he's not really a singer lol. & if anyone was curious enough, they could've already googled the song anyway.

but I wanted to post separately about him. Because he has a special place in my heart <3

lol I'm serious, but I'm sure there're quite a lotta people (celebrities) that also hold places in my heart too, just that I don't write about them. But I do think that Charlie Chaplin is one of the best comedians ever XD

I think I need humour & love (& money obviously) most in my life, so most of the things that I like are either funny, or romantic. but i don't want people thinking my head is up in the clouds all the time, so I refrain most of the time from posting anything remotely romantic ^^; I seem to constrain myself a lot...

so without further ado, I'll juz post a few clips of him here ^__^


I checked out a few on youtube, & I think this was one of the scenes I enjoyed more ^__^





his famous bread roll dance, altho in this video, i think that the audio is slightly slower than the video, but no matter





actually, this movie was the 1st movie I saw, City Lights, & I felt that this was one of the funniest parts in the movie, but watching it now doesn't feel so funny ^^;





what's with his stomach hahahaha so weird. I get that too, sometimes, so I can relate to him ;-P




btw, I've been really lazy, so that's why I'm so inactive on my blog ^^; sorry, but I'm busy enjoying my holiday. not doing much though, & it's scary how the time just passes by. I mean, it's already middle of july wth T_T soon my hols will be over ;-(

it's not helping that I don't know what to blog about, because some of my thoughts feel too private to blog about, so I'd rather still keep them a secret ^^; I guess, I don't like the idea of anyone knowing me too well if they didn't even spend a certain amount of time with me

but just so you know what I've been doing the past week, it was mainly cleaning my room, rearranging stuff, reading a book in between (I read VERY slowly), reading comics (I don't mention this often, but I still read comics a lot), watching youtube... that's about it

I'm a bit obsessed with deviantArt at the moment too XD it kinda started yesterday lol but it's been building up for a while, like, a few weeks? it takes time for me to start obsessing on sth, but if it was a show or story it probably takes just an hour at least lol

I'm bad at stopping my blogging, so I'll stop here, since I dunno wat to say anymore ^^;